Live and Let Di

Dart Night

Last Wednesday, I went to Darts with my friend Kim and her team. Yes...there really is a dart league...actually several, with multiple divisions and everything. It's not easy...but it certainly is interesting.

 Why isn't it easy? Have you ever thrown a dart? Hitting the board isn't easy. And hitting a specific number when you are aiming at it is practically impossible. AND they have a game called 301 where you have to subtract whatever you score from 301 down to zero. Subtracting double digits from triple digits is hard. And harder still when you have to do it in a blink of any eye between shooters. Kim is amazing at subtracting.

Why is it interesting? Let me count the ways:

1. The teams are quite diverse. There was the guy with the crazy Christopher-Lloyd-in-Back-to-the-Future hair. There was the guy with the soccer shirt and shorts on who looked like his other sport might be, um, soccer. There was the really tall guy who didn't seem to care if he won or lost. He just liked to be there. There was the well-dressed guy who looked like he just got off work at a bank who kicked the wall when his dart didn't hit the board, and later, just for balance, hit the wall with his fist when he didn't hit the number he was looking for.

2. Kim is like a rock star there. She has been playing darts for years. Her ex-husband plays...and is even sometimes on her team. Everyone knows her...plus, since she is in remission from her Stage 4 Inflammatory Breast Cancer...everyone wants to hug her. I was there, showing everyone pictures of her bald on my iPhone. Amelia, a girl we met there, borrowed Kim's fake boob and wore it around for a while.

3. There is serious Dart etiquette. Like, if you are the scorekeeper, you need to stand up near the scoreboard, not closer to the shooter where you could get in his peripheral vision. If you don't adhere to this etiquette, people can get really pissed off and pout for the rest of the night.

4. There are stories...oh, there are stories. And I'm new there, so everyone gets to tell me the stories everyone has heard a hundred times before. And they are still funny!

5. There was a guy there who was like a stoic robot for most of the night. When he was scorekeeping, he looked like on of those Indian chief statues except for the split second when he subtracted the two-digit number from the three-digit number and then returned to his pose.

6. Best line of the night...by the Indian chief to his team in a moment of unusual animation..."This isn't rocket surgery, you know!"

One of these days, I'm going to seriously practice at the Cantina and be able to play well enough to be on the Dart team. Not like Friday night when I had the advantage of a seven foot tall partner who needed only to lean forward and his dart was about three inches from the board. I think I hit a total of 3 points the whole game. But I have my professional coaches...Kim and Jim...and now I have a goal. Guess that dryer STILL isn't going to get unloaded.

Di

It's not foul!!!!!

If you saw the Not-Top-Plays on ESPN this week, you may have caught a glimpse of my son when the Nationals' Ball Girl fielded a ball that was NOT FOUL!!! This was something my son was probably screaming at her at the time:

That's my son in the blue shirt looking dumbfounded.

And look, he was trying to make the catch!

Di

In which Di is reminded to Google

Today I was in search of white baseball pants with black/red piping. Of course, I first called the Fuquay Sports Shop because I like to buy local when I can. When they didn't have them, I decided to go to the big box sporting goods store's website.

For future reference, their website address is DICKSSPORTINGGOODS.COM. What I typed in came up with something completely different. AND I TYPED MY BASEBALL PANT SPECIFICATIONS IN THE SEARCH BOX!!!!!!

Di

Gator Win Not An Excused Absence

FUQUAY-VARINA, NC --- After lengthy discussions and intense negotiations, one family in the small town of Fuquay-Varina, NC has announced that they will not petition the school district to make the day following the Florida Gators' win over Oklahoma in the BCS Championship a holiday nor consider it an excused absence.

Sponsor-friendly, but viewer unfriendly, networks chose to air the game at 8:30 which meant it did not end until after midnight on Thursday. Despite the late hour, the father (who has chosen that he and his family remain anonymous) insisted that the son report to school as usual the following morning. The father himself had to leave the house at 4:30 to catch a 6:00 a.m. flight. His decision was communicated to his wife, the child's mother, via text before he boarded his flight.

Wake County Public Schools supports this decision, with a representative stating, "If we give them this day off, pretty soon we will start having teacher work days every month, a day off for the NC State Fair, excused absences for the first day of the ACC basketball tournament and a day off for all of the high school kids who didn't miss an exam. Wait we already do all those things? Well, we're still not giving a day off for a team that isn't even in our state! We applaud the unnamed family for supporting educational values and helping to enforce our policies."

The family is aware that further discussion, peppered with excessive whining, will ensue. The mother is calmly drinking coffee and steeling herself to wake up her son who led the negotiations for the day off.

Di

That Championship Season

Advisory: 
Unabashed Mom-bragging Ahead 

My son's baseball team won the championship for the season last night. It was the fourth come-from-behind-victory of the season. They went into the bottom of the 6th inning (they play 7 innings) behind by 5 runs! They went into the bottom of the 7th inning behind by 2 runs. And, in an exhilarating finish, scored 3 runs to win. It was a perfect season...they finished 12-0.

Watching the team run out to home plate to greet the player who scored the winning run rivaled watching any major league team clinch a series. The rewards...better than a $40,000 World Series ring...
 

And if you think some of those little league baseball games are tortuously long, let me remind you of how fast the time goes:
 
Turn around and he's 5 with his batting glove on.
Turn around and he's 8, kissing his trophy as he's seen dozens of major league players do on TV.

Turn around and he's 9, celebrating a run scored.

Turn around and he's 11, giving a high five to his teammate.

Turn around again...and he's 12. His team has won the championship. And Mom hasn't taken a picture all season! Oh, the shame. But, oh, the pride! And oh, the feeling of seeing your child doing something he loves!
Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 89)

Thirteen things you hear at a little league baseball game and what they really mean

My son has been playing baseball since he was 5 years old. He loves the game as a player and as a spectator. You can only imagine how many games I have been to, how often I've unfolded my folding chair (bleachers suck!), and how much I've loved being part of the sport about which my son is so passionate. At a typical game, here are some things you hear:

1. Good eye - that usually means that the umpire called a ball when it should have been a strike and the kid didn't swing at it.
   
   
2. Bring 'em around - that means that there are some kids on base, in scoring position, and all you want the kid to do is put a ball in play. Doesn't matter if he gets out, just get the kids on base heading home.
   
3. Good contact - means that the kid put the bat to the ball. It either went foul or otherwise did not result in a hit, but you want to boost the kid's ego and let him know he can hit it.
   
   
4. C'mon Buddy, you're a hitter - this means that you have no idea what this kid's name is, but you want to encourage him from your position as first base coach.
   
5. Straighten it out - dude, you are hitting the ball, but it is going far out of the park to either side or behind the plate. Take the next one and put it in the outfield!
   
6. Watch his right foot - I didn't learn this until the other night, but if you are on first base, thinking about stealing second, you keep an eye on the pitcher's right foot. If it moves, that means he's trying to pick you off, not pitching to the guy at bat.
   
7. Balls in - you've been throwing the ball around the field in fielding practice, but the game is about to begin, so let's get all those balls back to the umpire.
   
   
8. Just run, I'll watch the ball - this is one of my favorites. If the first base coach tells you to run, you run like hell to second base. Let the coach worry about whether they can get you out or not, in which case he will yell, "Slide!" or "Stand up."
   
9. Way to hang in there - the count is 0 and 2 and you keep fouling pitches off instead of getting struck out.
   
10. Just worry about the batter - yes, we know that you've got two men in scoring position, but there are two outs and all we need to do is get this guy at first base!
    
11.  More, more, more - you've got an opportunity to steal, so take a bigger lead.
    
12.  Shake it off - you just did something stupid or caused an out or missed a play, but you have to get that off your mind and focus on what's going on now.
    
13.  That's what I'm talking about - the team just rose to the occasion and got guys out or scored runs when faced with a tough situation.

It's a good thing I grew up on softball fields. My Dad played until he was in his 40s. So I know the game, I know the lingo and I can even keep a pretty good score book. And just for the record, my son's team is 7-0 right now!!! Go A's!

Di