Live and Let Di

A Parent's Toughest Day

Let me preface this with my promise to be back with several book reviews. I have decided to stop putting it off, thinking that I need to do a detailed, in-depth review that will take too much time. No one probably reads past the first paragraph anyway!

This week presented me with one of my biggest challenges as a parent. A boy in my son's 7th grade class committed suicide. I struggled with how to react and what to say and shared it here:

Rites of Passage

The funeral was probably one of the hardest things I have done as a parent. My son asked me why I was crying and there were so many reasons...seeing the parents, seeing the middle school kids unable to fathom what has happened, hearing the strains of two beautiful songs played by a guitarist and thinking about all the missed opportunities that may have awaited Jordan as he grew up.

For that hour, there were no cell phones, no texting, no middle school posturing and no fidgeting. I admired the kids for their behavior, but wished that they could have spent that hour laughing with Jordan in the cafeteria or sitting around a table silently with everyone texting each other or whispering about who likes who. That, along with eye-rolling, is what middle school kids are supposed to do.

In sadness,

Di

Adirondack Art

Three teenagers. The first sunshine in days. What to do?

Adirondack chairs. Paint. Paintbrushes. Spray paint. Art.

Di

Perfect with Kosher Salt and Lime!

Happy nights and hungover mornings are in store for those who keep Kosher. Yes, Martin Silver of Star Industries has announced that Agave 99 will begin promotions on Cinco de Mayo, but it will be available in time for Passover! I can't wait for the promotions...Mexican songs sung in Yiddish! Somehow I don't think Raleigh, NC will exactly be in their promotion market. I'll have to find it on YouTube.

It's really not so crazy...tequila is fun. Hence, the catchphrase of our Mexican vacation, "Mas Tequila!"

Even my Mom, who isn't Jewish and doesn't drink tequila gave it a sip and learned about the correct process...salt, tequila, lime (try not to make squinchy face...it can give you wrinkles).

With this new product, Mom could be the hit of her Mah Jongg group. (Yes, my non-Jewish Mom plays Mah Jongg in several groups in two states!) All you need to go with the Kosher Tequila is:

How simple. And maybe your next dinner party will look like this:

Apologies to the non-irreverent of my readership. Oh, I forgot, I have no reverent readers.

Di

Six-Pack Abs

I guess everyone wants six-pack abs. I'm relieved that my son his this six-pack:

rather than this one:

Di

Don't Mess with the First Mom

Besides re-introducing chartreuse (while looking fabulous in it, I might add), what were we expecting of our new First Lady during her first week? While every First Lady seems to pick various causes to support, Michelle Obama's first action was to align herself with mothers everywhere by extending her Mama Bear claws to protect her children.

TY is the company which was known for introducing Beanie Babies. Beanie Babies turned into collectors' items which left generous aunts aghast as their nieces immediately ripped the tags off their Princess Diana Beanies. (Can you tell that this actually happened in my family, my daughter being the ungrateful wretch who was more interested in playing with her toy than eventually profiting from it?) Collectors, determined to profit from their perfectly preserved, originally tagged, cutely named beanbags, were eventually left with tons of inventory and no demand.

TY has now decided to introduce its newest Girlz, "Marvelous Malia" and "Sweet Sasha." But Maternal Michelle isn't going for it! (If I were to become First Lady, my cause would be to eradicate the use of  "Z" as a letter with which to make words plural in an effort to add a little "gangsta" panache to any word.)

Okay...maybe most of us don't have to worry about someone taking our children's names and likenesses and trying to profit from them. But we share a discomfort when someone we don't know is taking pictures at a kids' park. We cringe when we see 5-year olds made up like Vegas showgirls to compete in "Little Miss" pageants. Many bloggers use pseudonyms for their children for fear that using their real names might somehow allow them to be exploited. And many Moms avoid potentially limiting adjectives to describe their daughters, hoping that they don't miss the opportunity to be "marvelous" because they have been labeled "sweet."

Michelle, I'm sure that during your term(s) as First Lady you will make us proud by adopting issues and causes that are critical to our country and complementary to your husband's agenda. But I, for one, applaud your first action...to protect your family. Yes, you can! And yes, you will! And yes, we all can.

Di

Where has she been?

Sorry that my blog has gone dark the last few days, but there is a good reason.

Some of you who have been reading my blog for a long time may remember Casey. Believe it or not, more than two years later, Casey's battle with Ulcerative Colitis continues, her ileostomy bag serving as a banner for her cause. On Sunday I got a rather pathetic text from my friend, Casey's Mom, Stacy saying that Casey was back in the hospital in New York City where earlier in the week they had hoped to reverse the colostomy only to find yet another complication to prevent the surgery from happening. Casey now had an obstruction which required that she endure an NG tube...something I understood from my extensive medical background...Grey's Anatomy, House, ER, etc. For two years, Stacy has slept in the hospital with Casey at three different hospitals every time she's been admitted...and there have been way too many admissions for a girl who just turned 13.

My amazing husband saw how much I wanted to be there for Stacy and knew how much my son Rory would want to be there for Casey and immediately booked us a flight. An hour and a half later, we were at the airport and on our way. So here is where we spent our time for two days. As you are looking at the pictures, try to visualize beautiful tufts of snow falling in them. It snowed almost the whole time we were there. Rory even made a snowball with his bare hands and carried it into the hospital, up the elevator 6 floors and delivered it to Casey!

Mostly we were here. Cornell Presbyterian, specifically the Greenberg Pavilion, where Casey was staying. This is where Rory made Casey laugh in spite of her NG tube, got her to do "laps" around the nurse's station and single-handedly cured her of her obstruction. But remember, part of the objective was to get Stacy out of there and get HER to smile and laugh.

Stacy's Mom (yes, we know about the song) needed an iPhone since she had lost her phone getting out of a cab, so a trip to Mecca the Apple flagship store, near Central Park, was essential. Just the process of watching Nana Judi buy and try to learn the iPhone brought smiles and laughter!

 

Then it was off to Nana Judi's Mecca, Bergdorf Goodman. I don't want to say I was out of my league here, but we were perusing handbags that cost as much as my first car and had security around them that would make President Obama look relatively unprotected!

Nana Judi wanted to treat us to a girls' lunch at Bergdorf's. Since they are known for the Gotham Salad, I had to have that. It was wonderful. Stacy and I had glasses of crisp Chardonnay while Nana Judi enjoyed a bloody Mary. It was definitely a New York moment that this small town girl had never imagined.

 

For us, the extra-special thing about a trip to NYC is that we get to see my niece Ashley who is living the life there. She is 25 and has been there since graduating from college. We went to Cilantro, a Southwestern restaurant, where I enjoyed a ten dollar Margarita that was so good that it was well worth it. Rory, Ashley and I talked and laughed over dinner before sending Ashley on her way back to the lower East side where she happily resides in a shoebox with three roommates. That's part of living the life in NYC when you are 25.

 

Just down the street from the hospital was what had become the "Cheers" of the Casey's hospital stay, Murphy's Law, an Irish pub where one could have a beer, get a good meal and watch a football game...and they have Stella on draft. Casey's grandparents took me here the first night. Tuesday, as we were preparing to leave and half-hoping that the huge (6 inch) snowfall in Raleigh would result in the cancellation of our flight, Stacy and I went there for lunch and I had the best burger I have ever had in my life. I was kicking myself for ordering the portabello sandwich two nights before!

It was spontaneous. It may have been ridiculous. But our two days in NYC with our best friends were just what the doctor would have ordered if he had known the healing power of Rory and Casey just hanging out together and the fun, laughter, friendship and strength that me and Stacy being together revitalizes! And this is what made it all worthwhile:

Di

Evolution of a Blogger

I forgot to mention that my weekly blog for the News & Observer's Triangle Mom2Mom site has now moved to Wednesdays. I'm excited about it because I think Wednesday probably gets a little more traffic than Saturday...because people will read it while they are goofing off at work!

Click on the fine piece of writing below to learn more about what it is to be a mother from my 3rd grade perspective.

I'm rethinking the second to last line now as I ponder how long it takes my husband to get ready to go out!

Di

Never Say Never

The theme of my TriangleMom2Mom blog this week is how your parenting "nevers" eventually turn into "whatevers."

Here's a peek:

No food anywhere but the kitchen
No food anywhere but the kitchen and TV room
No food in your bedroom
No food in your bedroom. Really. I mean it.
If we have to call an exterminator one more time, you are paying for it!

To read more, click here.

Di

Gator Win Not An Excused Absence

FUQUAY-VARINA, NC --- After lengthy discussions and intense negotiations, one family in the small town of Fuquay-Varina, NC has announced that they will not petition the school district to make the day following the Florida Gators' win over Oklahoma in the BCS Championship a holiday nor consider it an excused absence.

Sponsor-friendly, but viewer unfriendly, networks chose to air the game at 8:30 which meant it did not end until after midnight on Thursday. Despite the late hour, the father (who has chosen that he and his family remain anonymous) insisted that the son report to school as usual the following morning. The father himself had to leave the house at 4:30 to catch a 6:00 a.m. flight. His decision was communicated to his wife, the child's mother, via text before he boarded his flight.

Wake County Public Schools supports this decision, with a representative stating, "If we give them this day off, pretty soon we will start having teacher work days every month, a day off for the NC State Fair, excused absences for the first day of the ACC basketball tournament and a day off for all of the high school kids who didn't miss an exam. Wait we already do all those things? Well, we're still not giving a day off for a team that isn't even in our state! We applaud the unnamed family for supporting educational values and helping to enforce our policies."

The family is aware that further discussion, peppered with excessive whining, will ensue. The mother is calmly drinking coffee and steeling herself to wake up her son who led the negotiations for the day off.

Di

Santa Capers - the next generation

***this post is dedicated to Patti who requested it from my list of things to blog about***

In December, 2007, Mike and Patti had their annual White Elephant Christmas Party. The concept is that you bring something outrageous, ugly, stupid or obscene as a gift. As the gifts are opened, wild trading takes place. That year, one of the most popular items was a full-sized, light-up lawn Santa. The trading was intense with various groups of friends combining their gifts to trade for Santa. When the night was over, the Bentwinds (my neighborhood) crowd drove away with the prize. Santa stood proudly in front of Kim's house. You all remember Kim. She's the proprietress of The Cantina (aka her garage) where we hang out every Friday and the occasional Accidental Tuesday.

When the season was over and Kim and her husband went out to take down the decorations, they found that Santa had mysteriously disappeared! Where he used to stand was a note, a poem actually, giving clues as to his whereabouts. He was stolen by another group from the party. At that point, it was game on!!!

This year, with Kim fighting Inflammatory Breast Cancer and everyone trying to pitch in as much as possible, it was decided that all the clues for the Santa Stealing would be posted on Kim's CaringBridge Web site (which is fun reading in and of itself...when not fighting cancer, Kim and her friends are determined to laugh at it).

Santa traveled far and wide...well, as far and wide as our small town anyway. One of the last steals took place on an aforementioned Accidental Tuesday. Since none of our crowd was alcohol-free at that point, we beseeched our youth to do the Santa stealing for us. With Sean (teenage son of Marcy who is one of our crowd) there, it didn't take much beseeching. He made a phone call and moments later Garrett (Sean's friend and son of Naomi, another of Kim's helpful friends) drove up. We laughed as we visualized THAT conversation. Garrett: 'Mom, I have to go pick up Sean so we can steal Santa and bring him back to the Cantina.' Naomi: 'OK, honey, drive safely!' The scary thing is that is probably exactly how it went as the whole neighborhood seems to be in on this now.

Pretty soon, a gaggle of kids had filled up Garrett's car and Santa was in their sights!

OK troops...keep your heads down and move in.

He's here! He's here!

Missy and Sean...we got him!

You just gotta love these small-town white kids with their gang signs!!! Look Naomi, Garrett is keeping his eyes on the road despite the mayhem behind him. (L-R: Nora, Sean, Montana)

Santa has returned to his rightful home at the Cantina (that's the Cantina to the left...if the garage door is open, the light is on and you can get past the barking chihuahuas and the dachsunds, come on in!)
(Front L-R: Nora, Sant, Rory; Back L-R: Montana, Missy, Garrett, Sean, Brendan)

Of course, Santa insisted on returning to Patti and Mikes for the party, but eventually he returned to the Cantina where he watches out the window and waits for next year's Santa Shenanigans!

Di