Live and Let Di

Calendar Anxiety

***This post is dedicated to Patti who kindly pointed out that she was getting a little tired of the Adirondack chairs post***

I recognize that with my multiple color-coded calendars in iCal, I am a bit geeky. But part of my role here at Neer, Inc. is that of master calendar keeper. Saturday morning I got up and all was fine, despite the fact that I stayed out until 1:15 a.m. the night before! Then I got an e-mail inviting my son to a birthday party. I opened my calendar and this is what greeted me for the coming week:

I like to stay busy, but there is something about having something and sometimes several things every day of the week that freaks me out. And there are a couple things that aren't even on there yet. And of course, I have to work! Oh...and while H is in Mississippi, Jason is going to be in California, so I don't even have my emergency back-up system. Keep in mind that there are all kinds of "givens" that don't appear here like cooking, laundry and playing iPhone Yahtzee. Plus I am really hoping that I can get out and play a little golf so I'm prepared for the weekend tournament.

I know...bitch, bitch, bitch. Ooh...I feel SO sorry for her. She HAS TO go see Legally Blonde and probably have a fabulous sushi dinner beforehand on Tuesday. And she simply MUST golf! And I can take a page from my negative TriangleMom2Mom commenter who pointed out that I shouldn't complain about anything orthodontia-related because at least I am fortunate enough to be able to afford braces for my son.

I never said it was rational!

Guess that 2:15 Monday appointment with Cynthia (the greatest therapist ever) will be focused on my calendar anxiety!

Any suggestions?

How to embarrass your kids

Embarrass is one of those words that I have to look up every time I use it. The two double-letters just confuse me.

Embarrassing your children is an innate skill that actualizes when your kids become teenagers. It's surprisingly effortless as most parents can tell you. I remember embarrassing my son once when I took out my laptop while waiting in the orthodontist's office.

Do you think my son will be embarrassed by what we posted on the billboard we paid for to sponsor his baseball team?

Go to PhotoFunia. You will have so much fun. Thanks to Karen from verbatim for unknowingly granting me permission to shamelessly steal this idea from her blog.

Di

E-bay International

I recently tried my hand at selling on E-bay. I've bought many things over the years. You would be surprised what you can find there for MUCH cheaper than retail. This is going to gross some people out, but I actually bought "slightly used" shoes on E-bay.

They are Chinese Laundry, a brand I really like and I ended up winning them for $.99 and paying $9.80 shipping. They appear to have been worn once or twice with nary a scuff on the bottom of the shoes. So, you truly can get anything on E-bay.

Since selling is a much different process than buying, my friend Tony has been serving as my E-bay consultant. He's a "Power Seller," a position I can't even aspire to. So, last week when I was selling a Nike+iPod Sport Kit (I really thought someone in  my family would use it!) and I got a question from a bidder asking if I would ship to Israel, I immediately turned to Tony. Here is the exchange that ensued:

***Please note that the following exchange takes no position on the issues in the Gaza strip and as is fairly obvious, makes no indication that either participant really has a clue of what is going on there.***

Tony:

I would discourage all international shipments period.  It turns into a huge mess.  Israel?  That just seems odd that there is a war going on there practically, and a guy wants a nike ipod thingy.  Guess he's tired of the bombs exploding around him all day and wants to stay in shape?  While jamming?  Got it.  Or wait...somehow this thing CAN MAKE A BOMB!!  Way to go Di, way to go.

Di:

OK...I sent him a message on e-bay that said:
 
My friend Tony said that you are going to make a bomb with this item and that you should probably be more worried about the war in your country instead of staying in shape...while jamming. Due to my pacifist mentality, I cannot, in good conscience, send this to you as I would feel responsible every time I read in the paper that someone got killed by a bomb in Israel. Unless it's a bad guy who gets killed. I'm not really sure who the bad guys are. Or is it like Dave Mason said, "There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys, there's only you and me and we just disagree." Please respond as soon as possible to clear this matter up.

Tony:

That sounds good.  I'd let him know that earbuds have also been the cause of hearing damage, and he may want to look into the Bose Noise Canceling Headphones (you know, the ones that they advertise on planes). That way, while he is on his morning jog, he can listen to Peter, Paul, and Mary in peace while at the same time monitoring his heart rate, etc.  Seems logical.  Your response to him seems condescending though.  I would at least let him know that everyone's idea of a bad guy is different and in no way is it meant to discourage him from getting in shape. He could be an honest guy who likes jogging in Israel. But on another note, turbans and bose headphones may not work either, so he may be screwed unless he runs with like a docking station up to his ear.  I wish I had all the answers for you Di, but even I get stumped sometimes.

E-bay, provider of endless hours of entertainment!

Di

Indecisive

Are there really people who are so indecisive that they would actually click on the second option?

Di

U(SB) Won't Believe This

I know that my blog has been a little breast-centric since Kim was diagnosed with breast cancer (get ready to read about Kim and laugh out loud, believe it or not, here), but I really couldn't resist sharing this with you.

Just when I thought that my MacBook Pro was becoming an appendage, I learn that, with the help of this USB powered gadget, I can use it to keep my breasts warm. Now, I don't know what audience they are targeting, but most of the people in my peer group are at the, "Fuck it, I'm done wearing a bra" stage and are more likely to need ice packs in that area due to frequent "personal summers."

In order to give credit where credit is due, it was my husband who showed me this. He has not been the same since he's become addicted to Facebook.

Di

Did you ever have one of those days...

...where everywhere you looked there were signs and they all seemed to be pointing at you? My friend Stef had that day yesterday. On her way to work, she found herself behind this van:

On here way home, she saw this:

And then it gets really weird. She called our friend Marcy to tell her to go outside and look at the rainbow. While Marcy and her daughter and friends were watching the sky in awe, a neighbor who was walking collapsed and fell into a ditch. Marcy went to help and had one of the kids go call 911. It has to make you believe that things happen for a reason!

Di

Santa Capers - the next generation

***this post is dedicated to Patti who requested it from my list of things to blog about***

In December, 2007, Mike and Patti had their annual White Elephant Christmas Party. The concept is that you bring something outrageous, ugly, stupid or obscene as a gift. As the gifts are opened, wild trading takes place. That year, one of the most popular items was a full-sized, light-up lawn Santa. The trading was intense with various groups of friends combining their gifts to trade for Santa. When the night was over, the Bentwinds (my neighborhood) crowd drove away with the prize. Santa stood proudly in front of Kim's house. You all remember Kim. She's the proprietress of The Cantina (aka her garage) where we hang out every Friday and the occasional Accidental Tuesday.

When the season was over and Kim and her husband went out to take down the decorations, they found that Santa had mysteriously disappeared! Where he used to stand was a note, a poem actually, giving clues as to his whereabouts. He was stolen by another group from the party. At that point, it was game on!!!

This year, with Kim fighting Inflammatory Breast Cancer and everyone trying to pitch in as much as possible, it was decided that all the clues for the Santa Stealing would be posted on Kim's CaringBridge Web site (which is fun reading in and of itself...when not fighting cancer, Kim and her friends are determined to laugh at it).

Santa traveled far and wide...well, as far and wide as our small town anyway. One of the last steals took place on an aforementioned Accidental Tuesday. Since none of our crowd was alcohol-free at that point, we beseeched our youth to do the Santa stealing for us. With Sean (teenage son of Marcy who is one of our crowd) there, it didn't take much beseeching. He made a phone call and moments later Garrett (Sean's friend and son of Naomi, another of Kim's helpful friends) drove up. We laughed as we visualized THAT conversation. Garrett: 'Mom, I have to go pick up Sean so we can steal Santa and bring him back to the Cantina.' Naomi: 'OK, honey, drive safely!' The scary thing is that is probably exactly how it went as the whole neighborhood seems to be in on this now.

Pretty soon, a gaggle of kids had filled up Garrett's car and Santa was in their sights!

OK troops...keep your heads down and move in.

He's here! He's here!

Missy and Sean...we got him!

You just gotta love these small-town white kids with their gang signs!!! Look Naomi, Garrett is keeping his eyes on the road despite the mayhem behind him. (L-R: Nora, Sean, Montana)

Santa has returned to his rightful home at the Cantina (that's the Cantina to the left...if the garage door is open, the light is on and you can get past the barking chihuahuas and the dachsunds, come on in!)
(Front L-R: Nora, Sant, Rory; Back L-R: Montana, Missy, Garrett, Sean, Brendan)

Of course, Santa insisted on returning to Patti and Mikes for the party, but eventually he returned to the Cantina where he watches out the window and waits for next year's Santa Shenanigans!

Di
 
 

New Year, New Me

What do you think of my new photo? Sorry to my sister Linda who was left on the cutting room floor. But look how I smile when I'm with her!

I think the other photo was about 6 months old and I feel like it would be false advertising to keep the same picture when I've aged so much!!!

Look at that...another non-resolution completed!

Di

Slumdog Teaser

I haven't tabulated the votes on what I should write about next, but it seems that a couple people were looking for the Slumdog Millionaire review. To whet your appetite, come on over to my blog for the News & Observer to learn how we got there in the first place and how you will eventually get a return on your investment taking your kids to EVERY SINGLE KID MOVIE THAT EVER CAME OUT!

Paybacks

Di

I'm back!!!

I know my blog posting has been sporadic lately, but it's starting to really feel "back to normal" now that the parties are slowing down and school starts on Monday. I have so much to blog about. So here's a list of things I need to blog about. If you have any preferences, let me know...

1. Slumdog Millionaire

2. Nati and Nora and how literal kids are

3. The last great Santa steal with pictures

4. Review of Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

5. Favorite books of 2008 (I might save that for a Thursday Thirteen)

6. The appalling grammatical gaffes in the newspaper's list of top quotes of 2008.

7. My son's experience going on the Goodyear Blimp

8. My son's total domination of his Fantasy Football League

Stay posted....and I'll try to as well!

Di