Live and Let Di

Holiday Magic

I remember when I was about ten, watching my Mom in the kitchen in the kitchen on Christmas or Thanksgiving. The kitchen in our house was about the size of the average McMansion pantry, had no granite, no stainless steel appliances and no custom cabinets, but was still the room that held most of my happy childhood memories.

 

Official disclaimer: This does not look like me, my Mom or our kitchen...mainly because I was NOT born in the 50s.

All of a sudden, it occurred to me that Mom had to work pretty hard to put this big family shindig together. I said, “Mom, I’ll bet you don’t even like the holidays because you have to do all the work.”...[click here to continue reading this post on my Triangle Mom2Mom blog]

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 92)

 
Thirteen Things I DID in Mexico

Last week I shared my list of Thirteen Things I Would NOT Be Doing in Mexico. I am happy to report that I didn't do any of them. Including, to everyone's surprise, even touching a computer. My iPhone stayed in the glove compartment in my car at the airport...our longest separation to date.

So I'm sure you are just dying to know what I DID in Mexico. I will share these thirteen things in pictures!

1. Witnessed rare moments like this...my kids getting along!
2. Experienced nature...like here, where my son is dive-bombed by a pelican!
 
3. Enjoyed watching the Grandfather/Grandson and Father/Son bonding that took place.
4. Did a tequila shot or two (or three or four) with our personal waiter, Guillermo, constantly at the ready with a bottle. We even got my MOM to try a shot (although hers was more like a sip).

5. Sat on one of these wonderful things for a couple hours just reading with my daughter. Later that afternoon, I sat on one for an hour or so just talking with my Mom, talking about family history, sharing stories.

 

6. Went for an early morning walk with my husband because we were still on East Coast time, so waking up there at 6:15 felt decadently late. I was posing to take advantage of the flattering light of morning. Hurley was posing in an homage to the nearby topless beach.

7. Ate this (the Americano) every single morning for breakfast. It was kind of like Eggs Benedict, but instead of being served atop an English muffin, it was served over ham, potatoes and onions.

8. Before the big anniversary dinner, we had a cocktail party in our room. The hotel catered it, showing once again that they couldn't do enough for us to make our trip special. My parents were good sports as we had them don a cheesy bridal veil and bowtie. My Dad did a speech that made us laugh (few of us knew that my parents would never have met if Dad didn't fail Algebra II as a Junior!) and made us cry (as he talked about his own grandmother telling him at his grandfather's funeral that she lost her buddy, her best friend and how he really didn't understand then what she meant...but now he does) and laugh some more (when he told of some tough times in their marriage when they stayed together because of the kids...because neither one of them wanted custody!) Mom gave her own speech which mostly made us teary as she talked about the family she always dreamed of having and how we were it!

9. Got my parents to smooch at dinner by tapping our knives on our glasses. The whole restaurant applauded!

10. Experienced the rare moments when all of us were together.

11. No words needed!

12. Made new best friends...everyone who knows me knows that I have never met a stranger and everywhere I go I make new best friends. There were many. Todd, the NetJet pilot from Dallas who sat next to me from Raleigh to Charlotte. Ben, the former Marine who served in Iraq, who sat next to me on the way from Charlotte to Raleigh. VERY cool thing...I offered to buy him a drink and the flight attendants said, no, THEY would take care of it to thank him for his service to our country.

And our best new friends are Zara and Stephan from Austria. We shared a few meals and a few drinks with them. Their daughter, Paulina, was adorable and well-behaved. She and Haley spent a lot of time together. I think they want to fly her over to Austria to be Paulina's au pair!

 

13. Canoodled with my husband...inspired by the parrots!

Hasta la vista!

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 91)

 Thirteen Things I Won't Be Doing in Mexico

We are leaving for Mexico on Thursday to celebrate my parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary, so I am posting this early. Sometimes I think it's become more the norm to have 3 or 4 marriages than to make it to 50 years! I'm pretty sure they still love each other...but it could be that they are both really determined people...and when they say they are going to do something, dammit, they do it! Whatever the case...I'm glad they made it and glad we are all going to be there to celebrate. (By the way...please forgive me if I don't visit your TT until I get back next week!)

But, while in Mexico, there will be 13 things that I will NOT be doing:

1. Losing weight, thinking about weight, exercising portion control or making healthy food choices. Isn't it better to start a vacation with realistic expectations?

2. Editing. Anything.

3. Going topless at the beach. Really. It's best for everyone.

4. Mentally making my shopping list for when we get home.

5. Worrying about embarrassing my children. Let them worry about it.

6. Drinking the water. Margaritas don't have water in them, do they?

7. Hanging out at Club Med with Barb. Those were the days! 

8. Reading Faulkner. Sorry, Andy, but a trip to Mexico cries out for much trashier literature.

9. Keeping up with the stock market. It will be whatever it is when we get home.

10. Worrying about Toby. He is spending the week with a hot 19-year old, so he won't even care that we are gone. (Toby is my dog, you perverts!)

 11. Making dinner, running errands, carpooling, paying bills or going to the grocery store.

12. Checking Facebook constantly or answering e-mails.

But I WILL be:

13. Having a great time with my parents, my sister, brother-in-law, husband and kids...all in the same place at the same time for a pretty special event!

Di

The Hustler

I don't write too many movie reviews because I don't go to the movies much. But a few weeks ago, Paul Newman died and it got me thinking about some of the classic movies that he has starred in. Apparently it got American Movie Classics thinking the same thing because they pre-empted all of their program for a veritable marathon of Paul Newman movies. I love Paul Newman (and his salad dressings!) So I set my DVR to tape just about all of them.

Last night my husband and I snuggled up in bed to watch The Hustler, the one with which we were least familiar. My husband probably knows ever line from Cool Hand Luke and I've seen The Sting many times. I was shaken to my core by The Hustler.

First let's look at the stellar cast:

Paul Newman - Playing Fast Eddie Felson, his body is lean and chiseled before it was a pre-requisite to movie stardom. His acting was so spot-on that the viewer can't tell when he's hustling and when he's not. He underplays, having few over-the-top emotional scenes. But he embodies his character so that a few minutes in, you forget he's Paul Newman (of course the fact that the movie is in black & white so you can't fall into his blue eyes helps in that regard.)

Jackie Gleason - If you only know him from the Honeymooners, yelling, "Norton!" then you don't know the acting ability of this man.

Piper Laurie - It seems that before the role as Sarah Packard, Laurie was a veteran of many television shows and a few movies you wouldn't recognize. She's not the Elizabeth Taylor-esque beauty that you would expect to star with Paul Newman. It is not her looks that make her role in this movie. It is her expressions. It is the variety of emotions she dons and changes in the blink of an eye.

George C. Scott - You know him from Patton. Before I watched The Hustler, I had no idea he was in this movie. From the minute he appears on screen, you don't know quite what to make of him and that makes him perfect in his role.

And just for fun, there's Michael Constantine (Principal Kaufman from Room 222), Vincent Gardenia in a bit role, and Jake LaMotta as a bartender. There are even the uncredited hands of Willie Mosconi taking the Masse shot for Newman.

Every single one of the four major stars was nominated for an Oscar. None of them won. The film won two Oscars, one for Best Art Direction-Set Decoration, Black-and-White and one for Best Cinematography, Black-and-White. The West Side Story cast pretty much swept the acting awards. Now I've seen West Side Story a hundred or so times and there is NO comparison.

I'm watching Newman over and over again and am constantly stunned. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? Watch it and FEEL the frustration Liz Taylor's character feels when that man rejects her.

The sad thing is that Newman only won one Oscar...ironically for reprising his role as Fast Eddie in The Color of Money. I'm pretty sure that it was a nod from the Academy to make up for his previous snubs....seven to be exact. It's sad because his performance in that movie was NOTHING compared to some of his earlier works. It's sad that the Academy couldn't see past the blue-eyed, hunk to the talented actor inside.

Set your DVR next time you see The Hustler coming on...and get ready to be blown away.

They like me....they really like me!!!

Several of my tags for the 5 things you were doing 10 years ago have responded, so I must share their sites with you:

From Leigh, my newest friend, a fellow N&O blogger:

Flipper and Me - Lists and More Lists

From Tracy Thompson, a writer I idolize and whom I still can't believe actually opens my e-mails and reads them!

Maternally Challenged - OK, Di, Here it is (see how she uses commas and stuff...she's a journalist...and she responds when I e-mail or comment on her blog)

To see Amy's contribution, you must read her comment since she stubbornly refuses to have her own blog!

Karen still might do it, but she's too busy cooking things with way too many ingredients on verbatim this week!

I'm still pretty sure Nicholas will get around to it.

Robin is forgiven if she doesn't get to it...what with her husband having surgery last week on his spine and thinking he's ready to drive and do whatever he wants after just a week.

And thank you to Natalie at A Day at the Park for starting this whole thing!

Di

Tag! You're it!

I usually pretend I don't notice tags, but couldn't resist this one from Natalie at A Day at the Park. If you've been reading my blog since it's inception over two years ago, there's probably NOTHING you don't know about me, but who knows? There may be a surprise here and there:

5 things I was doing 10 years ago...

1. Starting my own business, People Dynamics, helping businesses utilize employment testing in their hiring processes

2. Living in Sunrise, FL in our first house

3. Juggling work and the needs of a slightly dependent husband along with those of a 5 year old and a 3 year old

4. Obsessively spinning at the Gridiron Club

5. Reading some of my favorite books, including The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb and Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

5 Things on Today's To-Do List:

1. Edit at least one more chapter of a highly technical book that I MUST finish by Wednesday

2. Watch the Dolphins

3. Make family fave "French Dip" in the crock pot

4. Spend the whole day in my pajamas

5. Finish the scarf I'm knitting (probably during Dolphins game)

5 Treats I enjoy:

1. Naps

2. Rainy days with the fireplace on and a novel in hand

3. Aidelle's Portabello Mushroom turkey sausage (seriously...good)

4. Red wine

5. Starbucks' Nonfat Iced Chai Latte

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire (sorry...I have to change this to billionaire because I have lots of things I would do): 

1. Give more than enough money to help any of my friends who are in financial straits because of our crappy economy

2. See my distant friends and family more often...a private plane might come in handy for that

3. Put a big chunk in my Ameritrade account and become a stock market guru

4. Have a live-in maid, chef and chauffeur...kind of like Alice on the Brady Bunch

5. Travel more...including Italy, South of France, back to Ireland and Scotland, the other Hawaiian islands besides Oahu, Japan (my husband has always wanted to go), Australia, New Zealand, South Africa...the list could go on and on.

5 Places I have lived (Here are a few)

1. New Hartford, NY

2. Canton, NY (home of St. Lawrence University)

3. Ft. Lauderdale, FL

4. Miami, FL

5. Fuquay-Varina, NC

5 Places I have worked:

1. McDonalds (at age 16; my parents still say that the drive-thru at that McDonalds has never been as fast and efficient as it was when I worked there)

2. Shakers (night club on US 1 in Ft. Lauderdale...it took me about three subsequent "real" jobs to make as much as I made in tips as a cocktail waitress)

3. Centrust, Ensign Bank, American Savings (three now-defunct S&Ls which led to my departure from the banking industry)

4. The Paul Hertz Group (quality improvement consulting firm when that was all the rage)

5. L&M Companies (a produce company in Raleigh where I worked alongside my husband...I still love and respect the owners of this company...I've often said, "It's a family business, but with a really cool family.")

Who to tag? OK...

Robin at So What Happens Next?

Leigh (who will rebel at first, but might do it eventually) at Flipper and Me

Karen at verbatim

Nicholas at A Gentleman's Domain

Tracy Thompson (who probably won't do it...but about whom I had a really cool "small world" encounter this week, so I have been thinking about her) at Maternally Challenged

If any of my other readers are interested in participating, go for it. Let me know and I'll give you a link in a subsequent post. I thought this was kind of fun. If any of my readers who don't have blogs want to join up (Amy, Andy, Barb, Linda, Mom, Hurley), I'll post your list on my blog.

Di

If I Could Save Time in a Ziploc

Pop on over to Triangle Mom2Mom for new strategy for making lunch preparation for the brown bag crowd easier and more efficient...with kudos to my friend Pilar who gave me all the ideas!!!

Di

Escape

Sometime over a year ago, I went on a book-shopping binge and this was one of the books that I scooped up and deposited on my bookshelf where it patiently awaited my touch. Remember how I used to read fiction almost exclusively? Escape by Carolyn Jessop (with Laura Palmer) is a good reason for expanding my horizons to include non-fiction.

Many of us watched with a mixture of horror and obsession as the women of the FLDS Church were paraded into the courtroom in Texas.  We mocked their haircuts and dowdy dresses. We wondered how they could accept the life they led. We shuddered to think that the women actually wanted to take their children back there! How could they? Freedom was within their grasp.

Carolyn Jessop gave me answers in her account of her escape, but more importantly, her account of her life living within the FLDS. Carolyn was born into a polygamous marriage, went to school where teachers were not allowed to teach outside of the FLDS doctrines and knew nothing about life outside except the horror stories fed to her by church leaders. The people outside the cult were evil. The people inside were going to be saved.

These tenets did not provide much comfort when, at the age of 18, her father arranged her marriage to a 50-year old man who already had three wives. Most of us know that women in close proximity can get a little catty and competitive. Well, try having four women live in one house and not being sure which one's bed the husband will sleep in tonight!

As the years went by, Carolyn did her duty, churning out eight children by the age of 33. Escape tells the truth about polygamy, the in-fighting among the wives and the lack of opportunity for daughters to do anything but follow in their mothers' footsteps, marrying at younger and younger ages. Planning an escape with her eight children was not a simple matter. Every move she made was scrutinized and reported on by her husband's ever-burgeoning number of wives. Her plans were complicated by the severe health problems of one of her sons.

Somehow she did it. That's not a spoiler. The book is called Escape. But having read it, I look differently at those women in Texas. They have no real context within which to question their faith and their lifestyle. They have been told that the apocalypse is near and that they are the chosen people. Most of us have lived in a world of religious freedom. We aren't necessarily encouraged to leave the faiths we grew up in, but we are aware of other faiths and interact regularly with people who have other beliefs. The women of the FLDS don't necessarily desire to escape their lives. They are taught to feel proud of their many children and to see the number of wives a man has as an indication of his power in the church hierarchy.

Throughout Carolyn's life, she suffered some unimagineable tragedies, but somehow found the strength to leave and start a new life. Her story is both compelling and inspiring...and definitely worth a read.

Di (Remember when this was Di's Book Blog and I did this all the time? I need to get back a little closer to that. I'm starting Faulkner next!)

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 90)

Thirteen Things I Love About My Insurance Company

This week's entry is an ode to my insurance company. Since I don't want to get busted for slander or anything, let's give it a pseudonym...True Floss, True Wheeled. When I was younger, I used to love laying on the floor of my parents' room, talking to my friends for hours. Now my phone conversations with friends are limited to five minute snippets while we are driving hither and yon or slightly longer conversations while we are folding laundry or emptying the dishwasher. The only hour-long phone conversations I have anymore are with my insurance company.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Wait a minute, this is supposed to be Thursday Thirteen. Do you think I can limit myself to thirteen items?

1.    The card is kind of pretty.

2.    They don't bore me by consistently paying the same amount for the same things.

3.    They've developed a new counting or accounting system whereby I've spent thousands, yet they only count $370.12 toward my "out-of-pocket" expenses. I'm hoping they start calculating our premiums using a similar system.

4.    They keep things focused by only being able to talk about my situation on a claim-by-claim basis.

5.    They keep me from worrying about taxing things like the "big picture" by discussing individual claims rather than looking at the whole year.

6.    They protect me from my doctor who has a PhD and all that kind of stuff by keeping her from frittering away  medical judgment to decide what medicines I should take in what quantities.

7.    They ensure that my pill-taking never becomes boring by insisting I get 30 pills and cut them in half instead of 60 pills.

...sorry, that's about as far as I can get. Elizabeth Barrett Browning managed to come up with about 20 things in her famous ode. I suspect her subject was NOT True Floss, True Wheeled.

Di

Toby and the latest Di Creation

 
It's hard to decide what is more beautiful...Toby or the scarf he wears with pride. I could be the next Dooce if I can continue to get Toby to pose like this.

This scarf will be winging its way to New York City to be in a silent auction to raise money for cancer. This is Auntie Di's contribution to "strangling cancer." My lovely niece Ashley is leading the charge because of her father's recent diagnosis of prostate cancer. This is one of the things I love about her...she takes charge and makes things happen:

Here's Ash in her 'stache...all the guys in her office are not shaving for the month of November as part of the program to raise awareness and money for cancer. Click the picture above to go to the Movember web site.

Di