Live and Let Di

Who are you?

This quote has been shuffling around my brain since my daughter and I excitedly consumed the first episode of Grey's Anatomy. ***Spoiler alert***

Three society-type women who have been friends since they were little girls end up in the ER when their limo crashes. Coincidentally, their husbands, who were in a different limo because they wanted to smoke cigars, were in an even more serious accident.

The women are played to perfection with a balance between hysteria, sadness and incredulity. I predict an Emmy nod for Bernadette Peters (Sarabeth) and probably Kathy Baker (Anna). And anyone who watched the show might be shocked to realize that the women who lost her memory was played by Mariette Hartley (Betty). Yes, Mariette Hartley, perky substitute co-host of the Today show.

As it turns out, Anna has been having an affair with Sarabeth's husband for several months. As Anna is feeling judged by Meredith and the staff, she tells Meredith the following:

When you spend your life with someone and you have kids together, you think it'll always be this amazing, and this wonderful. You think that you'll always feel that kind of love and I do, I do love Phil. I just... well little pieces of you get chipped away by another person and then you shave little pieces of yourself away so you'll fit together and then one day you look up and you don't even know who you are.

Wow...how incredibly insightful and yes (attention, overused blog word approaching), poignant. I don't really want to say how I interpreted it or how it made me feel, I want to open up a discussion to do that. So please comment.

Oh...and guess what? I got to send a CORRECTION TO IMDB!!!! This is how the quote appeared in the IMDB entry for this episode:

No, no, no. It was not Betty who said it. Betty's major quotes were "What am I doing here?" "Am I in the hospital?" and "What happened?" since she was the one who lost her memory. I think they should send me an IMDB coffee cup or something!

Di

 

Slow Ride with my Pot

When you've reached the age where the Tooth Fairy isn't coming to visit anymore and where any future teeth you lose will not be replaced naturally, but with really expensive man-made appliances. And how convenient...because MY suggestion is that when you reach this point, you try to find yourself an Appliance Fairy!!!

My Appliance Fairy came into my life a couple of years ago. I didn't know she was the Appliance Fairy because it was her hidden alter ego. We bonded over a mutual love of books, our kids being in the same class and shared irreverence about, well, everything.

It started off slow, first I was an official consumer tester for a blender. Then when I was randomly bitching about my coffee pot, a new one magically appeared! Well, a while back, you may remember that I blogged about the instant at which I realized that storing one's Crock-pot on top of one's fridge is not a good idea. What a crock!

How delighted was I that the Appliance Fairy magically appeared, promising a new Crock-pot? And how thrilled was I when I realized she was not only magical and generous but omniscient too, because she knew enough not to send it until we were moving into the new house? So, soon after we moved in and I made all kinds of resolutions about cooking better and more frequently in my wonderful new kitchen, this appeared on my doorstep:

It's not "just" a slow cooker, my friends. It is not your mother's crock pot. It is the queen mother of all Crock-pots. This is the Crock-pot that read our collective minds and incorporated every feature that could possibly make our slow cooking endeavors easier...and even a little bit more fun. There are two "cycles"...so you can cook your dinner on high for 6 hours and then on low for 3 hours. And then if you don't get right to it? It automatically switches to warm. The top IS HINGED to the appliance. You know how you used to take the glass top off only to be standing there with it dripping steam, wondering where to put it while you serve. Hinged, my friends. Brilliant! It even has a temperature probe so that you can cook your meat to just the right state of doneness.

As a gift of thanks to the Appliance Fairy, I am going to publish my family's all-time favorite Crock-pot meal. I don't think the authors of the book are going to get mad at me because I am giving their simple book a HUGE plug.

Simple. Delicious. Family loves it. That's about as perfect as a meal can get!

My copy of Crock-It by Barbara Murray-Neslen was a gift from my Mom years and years ago. It was originally published in 1989. My edition is the 4th and was published in 1993, so I have to assume that Mom figured the new baby in the house would make meal planning and preparing that much more complicated, so she got it for me. Amazon's details are a little sketchy, but I know for a fact you can get it from Quail Ridge Books (the queen mother of all independent bookstores.

If you own a Crock-pot, by all means pull it out and start cooking with it. Oh, and now that I am working at home during the day, it is glorious to smell the food cooking all day long! If you don't own one, rush to the store to get one. Even my fully-loaded, tricked-out one costs only about $100, but you can get a simple one for $19.99 at Wal-Mart.

Let me know how it goes!!!

Di

 

Saturday's Blog

OK...it's a repeat of my recent blog about Comfort by Ann Hood, but with an added bonus of a photograph that I took that I am really proud of:

http://www.trianglemom2mom.com/content/grief

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 88)

"The customer is always right." Marshall Field (1834-1906)

"The customer is always screwed." Di (1962 - the next time I have to deal with AT&T)

Thirteen Extremes of Customer Service

1. AT&T - The only reason I have my cell phone service with AT&T is because of me deep, abiding love of the iPhone. Yesterday I spent 68 minutes on the phone with AT&T customer service while driving 30 miles to the closest AT&T corporate store and while standing in the store. Plus I spent too much time talking to the manager of the store. Apparently the corporate stores, the 800 number customer service and the non-corporate stores are like completely different entities...argh....

2. Jersey Mike's, Fuquay Varina, NC - Puts Subway to shame. There's a kid who works there who can simultaneously put the extras on one sub, while putting the meat on the next sub, while taking the order for the next person in line.

3. The place my friend bought his boat - He left and got on 95 only to find that the boat was shaking on the trailer. They came and fixed it and took off.

4. The place my friend bought his boat - When the wheel of the trailer came off a few miles down the road, they brought him a BRAND NEW TRAILER with their apologies for his inconvenience.

5. Apple - I've said it over and over and over again. I have NEVER had a bad experience with Apple whether by phone or in an Apple store.

6. Assaggio's Pizza, Fuquay Varina, NC - Order a pizza by phone. Go there to pick it up. It's an eat-in place, with no table service, so the eat-in people have to order at the cash register...yes, the same cash register where the take-out pizza is picked up. So I'm standing there seeing my pizza on the counter, cooling off by the minute, while the Mom in front of me is discussing with her 4 year old whether he would like plain spaghetti or ziti!!!

7. David Anthony's, Fuquay Varina, NC - Best. Gift. Shop. Ever. I have never gone in there and not been able to find something for the person for whom I am shopping. Plus, they wrap for free and their hand-tied, curled ribbons make the gift extra beautiful!

8. Most DMVs - Sometimes I think the employees get bonuses based on how many people they piss off or how many people they turn away because they didn't dot the "i" on their signature.

9. DMV, Angier, NC - A little farther to drive, a much more pleasant experience. Thanks to Monte who told me about it or I would have been cooling my heals at one of those other DMVs.

10. Dickens Insurance, Fuquay Varina, NC - And speaking of Monte, when I needed a new proof of insurance, he asked if I wanted to come by and get it or have him drop it off at my house since he was going to be headed this way anyway!

11. Harris Teeter - They really do have good customer service. But I always wonder why the cashier asks, "Did you find everything today?" I mean, there are three people behind me. What would happen if I said, "No, I couldn't find the arugula and I couldn't find Adobo...it's a Cuban spice." Would she leave her post and go find these things for me while everyone waited?

12. Starbucks - Sometimes I forget to order my chai iced. OK, here's my order - Grande Non-fat Iced Chai. With all of that, I sometimes forget an adjective. So when they present me with a hot chai and I say, "Oh no...I meant to order it iced!" they don't roll their eyes. They don't get irritated. They turn around and make my order the way I wanted it...even though it was MY mistake that I ordered it wrong.

13. Four Oaks Bank, Fuquay Varina, NC - A truly old-fashioned bank where everyone knows your name. Since we've had our construction loan, mortgage, checking account and construction account there, I have had the pleasure of dealing with everyone from the tellers to the vice president. Special kudos to Theresa, who not only helped me with some special requests during construction, but who was selected the Best Teller in Fuquay Varina by the Fuquay Varina Independent!

See, you thought it was going to be 13 examples of horrible customer service that Di is going to bitch about. But no! My low tolerance for horrible customer service makes me really appreciate the good stuff.

Di

 

Something New Everyday

Today I learned something new. Something that I've never given much thought to.

Now, without looking the words up, do you know the difference between a "foreword" (and would you have really known that it was spelled that way...OK Karen, we all know you would have) and a "preface."

Fascinating...for word geeks like me.

Di

Weekend Update

This pretty much captures my weekend. It was like being on the cover of an Anne Rivers Siddons book.

Emerald Isle, NC

So how was your weekend?

Di

Comfort: A Journey Through Grief

Comfort by Ann Hood is one of those books that you hear people recommend but you dismiss because you know it's about a parent losing a child and you haven't lost a child and you're just a little afraid that reading it will jinx the relative stability of your family and your children's daily routines that you take for granted.

Ann Hood and her husband, lost their daughter, Grace, when Grace was just five years old. It was sudden. It was utterly unexpected. And it shattered Ann's world.

I began thinking more about reading this book when I was reading my friend Robin's blog So What Happens Next? Robin's blog started out as a way to communicate with family and friends about her mother who was slowly dying. The blog has developed into Robin's path through grief, punctuated with her sense of humor and candor.

This in no way compares with these tragic events, but I have been suffering with grief over an event in my life that happened quite a while back. And I'm always saying to myself, why does that still cause me pain when I think of it? Why can't I just get over it? Time is supposed to heal, so why do I still crumble a little bit inside whenever something reminds me of it?

Whether you have lost a child or not, what comes through this book is that there are no rights and wrongs about grief. It's not something that you "get over" but rather something you "go through." A rabbi in Hood's life made that point clearer with a reference to the Twenty-third Psalm.

Ann Hood doesn't even try to shield her privacy or dignity. She honors her readers with the truth whether it is a vision of her burying her nose in the clothes Grace wore the day before she went into the hospital or screaming at an airline clerk that her daughter died.

There is something about the way this book is written where the writing mirrors the topic. There are various things that are repeated about Grace, the things she said, the words she mispronounced and her uniqueness. But it's not redundant. It's mindful of the way Ann's grief progressed and turned sideways and went back to the beginning.

I'm hoping that if Robin hasn't already read Comfort, she will read it. I especially know that she will understand about the healing power of knitting. I know I do!

Blamin' it all on the nights on Broadway

Blamin it all on the nights on broadway
Singin them sweet sounds
To that crazy, crazy town.

Anyone who has been reading this blog over the past two years or so knows that I never met a Broadway musical that I didn't like. From Oliver as performed on the stage of Fuquay Varina Senior High to the touring company of Wicked at the Broward Center in Fort Lauderdale to Chicago, performed on the sparse, black stage at the tiny, intimate Ambassador Theater in New York City. Heck, my daughter and I even loved the touring company of the stage production of High School Musical in Raleigh!

And as for that "crazy, crazy town," it was Rocky Mount which locals remember most for its highly contentious vote on whether or not to remain a "dry" county. The venue was The Dunn Center at North Carolina Wesleyan College.

Haley and I, along with Haley's friend Courtney, were invited by the Smiths, whose cousin Carter Calvert is one of the stars. And what a star she is. She previously played Grizabella in the national touring company of Cats. When she took the stage to sing "Memory" she led into the song by thanking her loved ones who were at the show and telling about her grandmother who couldn't be there, but is now 100 years old. In Carter's early years in New York, struggling to make it on Broadway, her grandmother had a way of sending a check for $50 or $100 just when Carter needed it. When she got the role of Grizabella, she called her grandmother and said, "Nanny, you don't need to send any more checks!" Then she launched into a truly moving performance of the semi-cliche and seemingly ubiquitous song from Cats. There was nothing cliche about Carter's performance. You felt like its words were oozing out of her heart and into her lungs and eventually into the microphone. I was crying. I have a feeling I wasn't alone.

Here is Carter chatting with a long-time friend from Fuquay-Varina as her Uncle Mickey stands in the background.

Carter's Fuquay entourage...she claimed she was now so famous that she had a posse! With Marcy taking the picture, it's me, Mark (Carter's cousin), Carter, twins Madison and Morgan with Nora in the middle (Nora would be Carter's second cousin, I think).

I think I'll do a separate blog about Neil Berg, the composer and lyricist, and in this show passionately exuberant pianist, who I think does an incredible job putting this show together and being the driving force behind its five amazing performers.

What was most special about the evening was that it brought me and Haley together sharing one of the things that we both love and love together...Broadway. Sometimes when your daughter is 15 and you are ancient, it seems that there is nothing you can agree upon, but this night was a delightful exception.

Special thanks to Stacy for introducing me to Hale Bob which prompted me to find this dress. Overwhelming appreciation to Mark and Marcy for including us in the evening and introducing us to their cousin. And a final thanks to Tony who, when I was at his house after the show, spontaneously said, "You look beautiful." It definitely made my night and goes into contention for making my whole year!

Di

Baby Shower Faux Pas

Just when you thought that etiquette was making a comeback (my kids say "yes, Ma'am" and "yes Sir" and call my friends Miss [First Name]...hey...it's the South!) people who probably won't even write thank you notes began demanding gifts from their shower invitees.

Read about it in my weekly blog for the Raleigh News & Observer:

Baby Showers Bring Mad Glowers

And if you don't feel like clicking on that link and reading that brilliant post, you could just click on this one and see some really cute and unique gifts for Baby Showers:

Xtraordinary Gifts

And if you are just so incredibly uninspired to click THAT link, here are some pictures of the cute baby shower gifts (with thanks to Karen Anderson for permission to use the pictures:

I would SO much rather walk into a shower with one of these adorable gifts than a package of disposable diapers (a special "gift from the heart") to be eligible for a special drawing. Sheesh!

Special thanks to Christine at What-A-Mother for inspiring me to write about this!

Di

 

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 87)

Thirteen Great Things About Finally Being in Our New House!!!

With a very special thanks to Natalie who sent a lovely comment saying she missed my posts. Thanks for the inspiration!

1. Every day does not require a new decision about what kind of lighting, what kind of cabinets, who needs to be paid, where to place the cable outlets, what color paint, etc.

2. My friends - everyone has been so helpful. We had great help moving, especially the biggest surprise, our next-door neighbor Michael who worked non-stop with the most amazing energy.

Michael and his Mom, Shirley...who is the BEST next-door neighbor anyone could hope for.

3. My Adirondack chairs FINALLY got painted, thanks to Pilar, who apparently LOVES to do that kind of stuff:

And Shirley helped pick the colors!

4. Two people who have been there every step of the way...Tony who has been my handyman and right-hand man when crises arose when my husband was out of town...and Pilar who has done everything INCLUDING taking my phone away from me so I could relax and play golf one day!

5. The beautiful touch of fresh flowers brought by Leigh and "Flipper."

 

 

 

 

Who BOTH incidentally LOVE my dog, Toby:

6. My granite countertops...and the great perch they make for my son and sneaking up place for my daughter:

7. My indulgence:

I'm visualizing cold winter days, snuggled up in bed with a book with my fireplace going!

8. And on the flip-side, ceiling fans everywhere. I'm probably perimenopausal so my temperature can change at the drop of a hat. The fans help...otherwise I'd have my air conditioning set on 69 or something.

9. Fewer and fewer things on my list to check off!

10. Being able to have a dinner party...in a dining room!

Prepared by my daughter's friend Courtney. And no, the wine glass does NOT belong with the underaged young man. It's mine and it just got in the picture.

11. My dream room, my sanctuary. It's not done yet...still boxes and boxes of books. But I have it set up so I can actually work here instead of on the kitchen table!

12.The view...so beautiful when I remember our first house where the view was the neighbor's fence. My dog loves having the run of the yard.

13. Being able to say, "Home Sweet Home" without adding "for now."

Di