Comfort: A Journey Through Grief

Comfort by Ann Hood is one of those books that you hear people recommend but you dismiss because you know it's about a parent losing a child and you haven't lost a child and you're just a little afraid that reading it will jinx the relative stability of your family and your children's daily routines that you take for granted.

Ann Hood and her husband, lost their daughter, Grace, when Grace was just five years old. It was sudden. It was utterly unexpected. And it shattered Ann's world.

I began thinking more about reading this book when I was reading my friend Robin's blog So What Happens Next? Robin's blog started out as a way to communicate with family and friends about her mother who was slowly dying. The blog has developed into Robin's path through grief, punctuated with her sense of humor and candor.

This in no way compares with these tragic events, but I have been suffering with grief over an event in my life that happened quite a while back. And I'm always saying to myself, why does that still cause me pain when I think of it? Why can't I just get over it? Time is supposed to heal, so why do I still crumble a little bit inside whenever something reminds me of it?

Whether you have lost a child or not, what comes through this book is that there are no rights and wrongs about grief. It's not something that you "get over" but rather something you "go through." A rabbi in Hood's life made that point clearer with a reference to the Twenty-third Psalm.

Ann Hood doesn't even try to shield her privacy or dignity. She honors her readers with the truth whether it is a vision of her burying her nose in the clothes Grace wore the day before she went into the hospital or screaming at an airline clerk that her daughter died.

There is something about the way this book is written where the writing mirrors the topic. There are various things that are repeated about Grace, the things she said, the words she mispronounced and her uniqueness. But it's not redundant. It's mindful of the way Ann's grief progressed and turned sideways and went back to the beginning.

I'm hoping that if Robin hasn't already read Comfort, she will read it. I especially know that she will understand about the healing power of knitting. I know I do!

Comments

[JoAnn]

you wrote:
There is something about the way this book is written where the writing mirrors the topic. There are various things that are repeated about Grace, the things the said, the words she mispronounced and her uniqueness. But it's not redundant. It's mindful of the way Ann's grief progressed and turned sideways and went back to the beginning.
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This was what made this book so well-written. You put it very well, my dear. The book was so powerful.

[amy]

I've had the Ann Hood book and Joan Didion's A Widow For One Year for a while now, and am still a bit frightened of reading either one. Not quite sure i'm ready for what it might bring up. I did read Ann's book the Knitting Circle, and it was wonderful.

[Leigh]

Good writing and review! I can't bring myself to read that book, perhaps because I have 5 year-old myself.

[Brenda ND]

I read a book called "Beautiful Boy" which might be similar to "Comfort" in that the writer details his/her life and sorrow in poignant prose. I couldn’t put it down. I’ll look for “Comfort.” Thanks.

[amy]

Whoops, i put in the wrong title! Joan's book is called A Year of Magical Thinking.

my bad!

[Robin]

Soon. I have somehow slipped into a not reading spell for a few weeks. All of these books sit by my bedside waiting for me to start them...I just seem so blank inside right now, I hate to invite any new books into the dullness. Soon.
Robin