Live and Let Di

MIA

Some of my regular 10 or so readers may have noticed that I have been MIA for a while. Some have noticed that I have been MIA for as long as Elizabeth Edwards has been...ever since John Edwards' affair rocked the Democrats, and not in a Sheryl-Crow-Rock-The-Vote cool kind of way. It's only a coincidence. My husband has not had an affair...at least I don't think so. If you have evidence to the contrary, please do not bother sending it as I am WAY too busy to do anything about it.

It's the daily continual parade of tradespeople coming through my door every day. After building a house, there are lots of little things. Oh, like someone forgot to turn the water to the steam shower on. And the hot and cold were reversed in our shower. And I REALLY need cabinet pulls since I have broken all of my nails opening and closing cabinets and drawers. And the gas to the fireplace can't be turned on until after you get the CO...which we actually didn't get until about 7 days after we moved in. And Hurley doesn't like where they put the cable outlet in our room. And the HVAC guys wanted to give me a tutorial on how to use the thermostat. (I'm SO glad they did.)

But another reason that I've been scarce is that I have been helping to edit a book. Really editing, not just noticing things like this on the street and taking pictures and being appalled:

I mean, come on. If you had the slightest question on the spelling of "biscuit," you could have looked to the NAME OF THE RESTAURANT!!!!

No, it's not John Irving's next tome or Anne Lamott's Even MORE Thoughts on Faith. It's a high tech book. Here are some unusual things about the book I'm editing:

The word "capacitor" is used without the modifier "flux" and with no reference to Back to the Future.

The word "via" is a noun.

I think some of the authors make tongue-in-cheek in-jokes in their writing but I don't even understand them because I'm not an engineer

Karen at verbatim taught me about the subjunctive case when the choices are "was" and "were"

I am addicted to the Chicago Manual of Style

I have created my own Di's Manual of Style for the specific technical terms in this book

It's fun...but I promise to blog soon about my friend and now my boss...with pictures...watch out Barb!

Di

New House Chaos

You may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. While I was recovering from salmonella or whatever, we moved into our new house. It is insane...so much to unpack, so many little things that need fixing. And I'm WAY behind...with over 200 posts to read on my blog-reader since we have been without internet for 5 days!!!!

I've had so many requests for pictures, but don't even have the energy to accumulate 13 of them for a Thursday 13. So here goes:

We bought so much wine in anticipation of all the people who would be coming and going over the weekend, to help move and see the house, that we got TWO of these wine bags FREE. Well, actually my friend Pilar got them because she is the queen of finding things on sale and getting things free.

 

I love my kitchen...keeping it uncluttered while unpacking is a huge challenge. But I love it.

Toby was a little freaked out at first. He kept running here and there trying to figure this new place out. My friend Shirley even crawled through the doggy door on the screened porch to show Toby how to do it. It was apparently an exhausting day for both the puppy and the princess.

My daughter told me it was "tacky" to label the light switches to indicate what they operate. I DON'T CARE!! Look at all these light switches!

What do you think of my funky light for the breakfast nook? The house is relatively traditional in style except for my funky bar lights and this drum light.

I just love this. No comment needed.

I'll be back to writing almost daily in a week or so. We'll be more moved in. The kids will be back to school.

Di

 

 

The Symptoms You Don't Talk About

Also posted in Mom2Mom on the Raleigh News & Observer's web site.

Pre-post-script...well after this was written, I went to the doctor and learned that I have either e.coli or salmonella.

The older you get the more constant and disgusting your various symptoms get. I have been battling a stomach flu for the past four days. No, I'm not going to regale you with the yucky physical symptoms of my ailment. But I think it's only fair to open up and share the really embarrassing aspects that affect ailing Moms.

The first thing was kind of cute. My son asked me what was wrong. Washing away my aura of invincibility, I winced and said, "My tummy is upset." My son said, "Maybe you should get it a balloon!" Of course! How brilliant....of course if someone/thing is upset...give it a balloon!!! I smiled a pale, wan smile.

The next day I felt worse. I was reclining on the couch with a comfy blankie when my son said, "Mom, what's for dinner?" I considered all of my alternatives and they all seemed to involve shedding my comfy blankie and rising from the equally comfy couch. So I said, "Here's the deal. I'll get up and make you mac & cheese...not homemade, from the blue box...OR I'll give you $20 if you fix yourself a bowl of cereal." Yes, I bribed my son in order to remain reclined in comfy blankie comfort.

The following day I felt even worse. It wasn't just about laying on the couch...it was every word, sound, telephone ring and movement grating on my every nerve. It was raining and my son and his friend were playing in the garage. Now, keep in mind that a few years back, these same two boys were skateboarding in the garage because it was raining and the child who wasn't mine (with whose parents I routinely exchange copies of our medical insurance cards) fell and broke his arm. Laying on the couch, I hear an ear-piercing scream. Somehow I find the energy within me to spring from the couch and run to the garage. I found the two boys laughing uproariously about someone wiping out and landing on his butt. I yelled, "I don't want to hear screaming like that unless someone has broken a bone!" Yes, those words crossed my lips.

Whatever semblance of good-Mom-ism you can normally muster up on a good day, slinks away little by little when you are sick. Moms don't get sick days. And in my case, I inevitably need one when my husband is on a business trip. I can't really remember ever getting sick with the rest of the family home and healthy. Thank goodness for my friends. One is not really a doctor, but he plays one on TV. And he helped me decide whether or not to go to the ER. His wife was there for comfort and encouragement. Another friend went out and got me the requisite ginger ale and saltines.

I'll feel better soon. And I'll be a better Mom too!

Di

The Olympics - The Drinking Game

Somehow, when I was playing quarters at the Tick Tock at St. Lawrence or playing beer pong at Sigma Chi, I never really visualized myself caught up in a drinking game when I was in my 40s. Friday night proved me wrong.

As we gathered around the bar at the Cantina (for new readers, the Cantina is a bar in my friend Kim's garage) watching the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, a drinking game (an event WE could actually participate in) seemed appropriate.

As the parade of nations passed by, someone (I think it was Marcy):

came up with the idea of everyone trying to pronounce each flag-holder's name. If you couldn't pronounce it, you had to drink. Since I am, by necessity, a moderate drinker (with my depression and associated meds, drinking to excess is not a good idea) and since I am the resident language expert, I was the designated judge.

I am the judge and my decisions are final. Aren't my earrings cool? They are made from recycled Coke bottle tops.

The African nations helped Sharis make a huge dent in this wine bottle:

Monte is Fuquay Varina born and bred and those Slovakian countries just about did him in:

Stef and Marcy, the Irish girls, think they are SO cool with getting all those Irish names!

John laughs at Chereen's attempt at pronouncing the Congo's flag-bearer.

And Kim assures us that when her daughter makes the Olympic Gymnastic Team, no one will have a problem pronouncing her name...Montana Wrigley...so simple...a state and a gum!

Behind the drinking and hilarity was tremendous respect for the beautiful ceremonies, pride in our athletes and a little disdain for President Bush's apparent boredom or disdain for the festivities. He was like a 5th grader who can't sit still at the school assembly. Laura looked lovely and respectful throughout.

Did anyone notice that two of the three events he attended the following day were events where the least clothing was worn? Beach Volleyball and Swimming.

Di

 

 

Our House...is a very, very, very fine house...

...and we might actually live in it sometime soon!!!!

This is Rory sitting on the kitchen counter. I picked out the granite myself and I am VERY happy with it.

Here is the guy building the stone fireplace. I thought they used some kind of stone facade thing, but they sit there and actually cut stones and put them together!

Rory and Hurley in the kitchen. Do you like my funky pendant lights?

Thank you to all the people who inspired me by asking to see more pictures of the house.

Di

A Little Privacy, A Lot of Compassion

Thanks to Shirley for my inspiration!

John Edwards screwed up. Like many men in the political realm, the entertainment world and our own neighborhoods, he succumbed to the lure of the excitement of an affair. I personally know several marriages that have weathered the storm of infidelity and survived and thrived despite the temporary setback. What was different about these marriages was that they worked through their pain without reporters camped in their front yards. They got to choose if and when to tell anyone about their difficulties. And they got to work through the pain, suffering and healing on their own time table.

When I was newly married, I had a friend whose 25+ year marriage I absolutely idolized. When I was wrestling with some marital discord or other, my friend told me that early in their marriage, her husband had an affair, told her about it and they moved on. I think that happens more often than the dramatic pronouncement to "pack your bags and get the hell out."

I was fortunate to meet Elizabeth Edwards last year at Quail Ridge Books when she was promoting her book Saving Graces. You can read about my brief encounter with the beautiful, sincere, down-to-earth Mrs. Edwards here.

Elizabeth Edwards connecting with my friend Shirley while signing her book.

What most impressed me was:

"When I saw Elizabeth take the podium at Quail Ridge Books last week, I saw not a potential First Lady or the consummate political wife, but a woman like the rest of us who laughs at her own imperfections, speaks candidly and connects on a personal level with every person with whom she comes in contact."

 

I can picture Elizabeth Edwards sitting around with my friends having a glass of wine on an "accidental Tuesday." (I'm not sure I can see her grabbing the microphone to harmonize on Landslide, but I wouldn't put it past her.)

Doctored picture...but sure looks like she would fit right in!

I'm quite sure that when John Edwards confessed his affair she was, as he put it, "furious." Who wouldn't be? But they have dealt with it as a couple and as a family.

In my opinion, an opinion I'm almost sure Elizabeth shares, John's marital indiscretion does not sully his passion for our country or his ability to lead. His male-pattern weakness in the face of an exciting woman who probably worshiped the ground he walked on does not diminish the respect that I gained for him after reading his book, Four Trials.

I personally would like to see John Edwards address the Democratic National Convention. I would like to see the Democrats connect with the nation on a personal level. Something along the lines of, "No...we are no more perfect than you. So, we can better understand you, your daily toils, your personal glories and challenges. Let's join together as a TRUE democracy where those you elect truly reflect the populace. Let's join our flawed selves and raise the best parts of each one of us to form a more perfect union...21st century style."

And Elizabeth, if you want to escape those annoying reporters on your lawn, you come on over to the Cantina any Tuesday or Friday. We'll supply the wine, beer, music and microphones.

Di

 

Uninspired

I am feeling uninspired lately. I guess it's part of what The Beast steals from me. It could also be from being in the throes of the final details on our house and the continually receding move-in date.

I can't find it within myself to blog just for the sake of blogging.

If you feel that you can inspire me, please feel free to do so! Otherwise, I might be on temporary vacation.

Di

Editor Needed - DESPERATELY!!!

Karen from verbatim inspired me to peruse craigslist for writing/editing jobs when what I REALLY need to peruse craigslist for is a new desk.

Although I am not in the market for any new jobs, this one caught my eye...

EDITOR NEEDED FOR TRAINING MANUALS

XYZ  Ministries, Inc. is in need of an editor.

We write and published our own training manuals and is in need of an editor.

We are looking for an individual with:

Execellent Writing Skills
Excellent Grammer/English Skills
Excellent Computer Skills

Now...take a moment and reread the third line...they desperately need someone soon!

Di

I'm still here

I'm hanging in there...hanging on a rope made of the love of my husband, the understanding of my friends and some twine of things I've learned after numerous bouts with this Beast* called Depression.

*  I borrow the term The Beast from Tracy Thompson whose book of the same name provided a turning point in my understanding of this illness. Her subsequent book, The Ghost in the House, seemed to be written directly to me.

I am bouyed by the thoughts, prayers and support of family far away who are often wrenched by their inability to do something to help me.

For perhaps the first time, I'm doing something for myself. Now I don't kid myself that I would have any chance without my safety net of friends and family. But with their support, and the support of surprising people, even some strangers, I'm able to take ownership of my illness, permit myself to be kind to myself, allow myself to say "No" without explanation and know that my friends will understand...and most importantly, won't stop asking.

I'm even knitting a prayer shawl...inspired by my friend Robin whose blog always touches me. She started it as a journal and a way to keep in touch while her Mom was dying. Now that her Mom has passed away, it is a journal of her grief. I won't share the link to Robin's blog unless and until I get her permission. I don't know if it something she wants shared publicly. Here's my prayer shawl so far:

So, I'm going to be fine. I just need to get through this week. And I know I will because of the endless levels of support I can count on from all of you.

Di