A Little Privacy, A Lot of Compassion

Thanks to Shirley for my inspiration!

John Edwards screwed up. Like many men in the political realm, the entertainment world and our own neighborhoods, he succumbed to the lure of the excitement of an affair. I personally know several marriages that have weathered the storm of infidelity and survived and thrived despite the temporary setback. What was different about these marriages was that they worked through their pain without reporters camped in their front yards. They got to choose if and when to tell anyone about their difficulties. And they got to work through the pain, suffering and healing on their own time table.

When I was newly married, I had a friend whose 25+ year marriage I absolutely idolized. When I was wrestling with some marital discord or other, my friend told me that early in their marriage, her husband had an affair, told her about it and they moved on. I think that happens more often than the dramatic pronouncement to "pack your bags and get the hell out."

I was fortunate to meet Elizabeth Edwards last year at Quail Ridge Books when she was promoting her book Saving Graces. You can read about my brief encounter with the beautiful, sincere, down-to-earth Mrs. Edwards here.

Elizabeth Edwards connecting with my friend Shirley while signing her book.

What most impressed me was:

"When I saw Elizabeth take the podium at Quail Ridge Books last week, I saw not a potential First Lady or the consummate political wife, but a woman like the rest of us who laughs at her own imperfections, speaks candidly and connects on a personal level with every person with whom she comes in contact."

 

I can picture Elizabeth Edwards sitting around with my friends having a glass of wine on an "accidental Tuesday." (I'm not sure I can see her grabbing the microphone to harmonize on Landslide, but I wouldn't put it past her.)

Doctored picture...but sure looks like she would fit right in!

I'm quite sure that when John Edwards confessed his affair she was, as he put it, "furious." Who wouldn't be? But they have dealt with it as a couple and as a family.

In my opinion, an opinion I'm almost sure Elizabeth shares, John's marital indiscretion does not sully his passion for our country or his ability to lead. His male-pattern weakness in the face of an exciting woman who probably worshiped the ground he walked on does not diminish the respect that I gained for him after reading his book, Four Trials.

I personally would like to see John Edwards address the Democratic National Convention. I would like to see the Democrats connect with the nation on a personal level. Something along the lines of, "No...we are no more perfect than you. So, we can better understand you, your daily toils, your personal glories and challenges. Let's join together as a TRUE democracy where those you elect truly reflect the populace. Let's join our flawed selves and raise the best parts of each one of us to form a more perfect union...21st century style."

And Elizabeth, if you want to escape those annoying reporters on your lawn, you come on over to the Cantina any Tuesday or Friday. We'll supply the wine, beer, music and microphones.

Di

 

Comments

[Karen]

I'm surprised more comparisons haven't been made to McCain's very public admission about his affair. Remember, he was having an affair with Cindy while still married to his first wife.

[Nicholas]

I have never understood why a man's private life should have any bearing on his ability to manage a multi trillion dollar economy, and after all that is what really matters. FDR was one of the greatest presidents ever and he had a mistress -- what did it matter?

CNN and the networks are blethering on non-stop about Edwards, who isn't even running for office, and there is a new and dangerous war starting just next door to Russia. Nice to see they are concentrating on the important stuff.

[Shirley]

Well, written Di. Sex and scandals seem to sell better in the U.S. than real news- we are becoming a nation of idiots I'm afraid.

[JoAnn]

I always thought that Elizabeth Edwards would have been a better candidate than John, who always seemed too slick and about three inches deep.

[amy]

Did john edwards screw up? Absolutely. I think that most people have some things in their lives they'd rather not have exposed to the world at large, which is why "good" people don't run for office--who would want to put themselves and their families through the wringer?
What i do object to is Edwards' public rational of his affair "Elizabeth was in remission"--like it was ok because she wasn't going through chemo??--and his ongoing deceitful behavior, such as meeting the woman in question last month in a hotel, holding the hand of the child he claims isn't his, and not telling his wife about any of it. How humiliating for her to have to see that picture plastered on the National Enquirer at the supermarket checkout line.
And Edwards' arrogance--did he REALLY think that no one would find out??? In this day and age and with the internet, youtube, cell phone pictures, etc.?? He thought that his "liason" was impervious to discovery?? Give me a break.

Fortunately, I believe that most men (and women, though to a lesser extent) are able to compartmentalize their behaviors and feelings in such a way that one's personal behavior does not necessarily govern one's ability to govern, delegate, and manage. I don't think Edward's private behavior diminishes his ability to lead. My respect for him, however, has been lost.