Live and Let Di

OPK - the sequel that's better than the original

In a brilliant response to my post about OPK (Other People's Kids), Amy submitted the following...further reinforcing why she is my BFF!!!

I do not like them on a plane
I do not like them on a train
I do not like them in a mall
I do not like them running down the hall
Not in a restaurant!
Not answering the phone
Other People please--
Leave your kids at home!
I do not like them at films R-rated
I do not like to hear them uselessly berated
I do not like parents thinking their kids can do no wrong
I do not like videos of kids singing little songs
I do not like OPK, you see
I do not like them--so leave me be!
As an addendum:
Now that my kids are teens, their friends are too
Feed them, feed them, it's all I do!
That is, when I'm not driving them to and fro
To and fro and fro and to,
Feed them and drive them, that's what I do.
And listen to the texting, and talking in code
Add spying and decoding to my resume load
Now OPK are nicer to me than my own
So I feed them and drive them and take them into my home.

Di

Dark at the Roots

Sometimes another blogger's book review just stops me, grabs me by the hair, drags me to the Quail Ridge Books website and forces me to order a book. Apathy Lounge's review of Dark at the Roots by Sarah Thyre was just such a review.

So, trust me. And if you need further inducement, she mentions Anne Lamott in the review! Here it is:

Apathy Lounge's review of Dark at the Roots

***Note to Joann: This is a memoir and I know you don't like memoirs, so don't feel compelled to click***

Di

God's Voter Registration

This might also be filed under "only in Florida." As my intrepid photographer and I were driving to Miami last week, we came upon this truck that gave us the inside track on God's voting record:

I think that should give Obama the edge because I'm sure the "one man, one vote" thing doesn't apply to God. He should be like a whole state or something!

Di

Who needs this junk?

With the exception of greeting cards and thank-you notes, the only mail I get that I am interested in is e-mail. It's actually kind of a bother to stop at the mailbox every day. And when I do collect the mail, it's so frustrating that there is so much JUNK that I'm afraid I might miss something important hidden amongst the mass of catalogs, flyers, coupons (which I never use) and credit offers.

Friday, when I was driving back from Florida, I listened to NPR almost the whole day. I learned so much! One "sponsored by" thing came on...they don't have ads per se...that offered some relief for my mailbox monster.

There is a website that helps you to contact the producers of direct mail pieces and catalogs in order to opt out of (what I consider) junk mail. (Click on the link below to get to the how-to guide for eliminating junk mail.)

I am thrilled with the prospect of having less mail to sort through every day. But more importantly, stopping the majority of junk mail will eliminate 75 pounds of waste every year. I promise that in a few weeks, I am going to check back in and let you know if I see a difference. I might even keep track of the stuff I get day-to-day and see if and how the junk mail declines. Join me if you want. Let me know if you do and I'll post a link to your blog.

And don't you just love the tagline, "Dedicated to effecting positive change through incremental conservation?" Even though I think it should be "affecting." Incremental change I can handle and grammatical errors for a good cause I can forgive!

Di

OPK

Come by my Saturday blog for the Raleigh News & Observer to learn why "I hate other people's kids!"

Di

Only in Miami...

Seriously?

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 83)

13 Goofy Pictures of Best Friends

I've been in Florida since Monday when I drove down here to see my daughter who turned 15. We've been hanging out with our friends...her friend Casey, and my friend Stacy. Lots of hilarity and mugging for the camera. Here are a few gems:

1.

We love each other, but come on...what are you talking about?

2.

I'm not sure...but I think this has something to do with One Tree Hill.

3.

Haley with her Angry Model face!

4.

Casey showing her mother, Dr. Thompson and the rest of the world that she's eating. Casey has the "enviable" situation of needing to gain 2-3 pounds a week for the next five weeks. I wish I could help!

5.

Haley is indicating that she will help...that's just the kind of friend she is!

6.

Our shy girls.

7.

Oh...and the Moms...we WISH we could eat some of that pasta for her!

8.

Angry Model face #2.

9.

I have no idea!

10.

Twin Mac girls!

11.

Only one smile at a time.

12.

See no evil?

13.

This surely means something. I think it means they have a future in drama!!!

Di

It's not nice to fool...

...with Mother Nature. No, not this seemingly sweet lady from the Chiffon commercials:

The real Mother Nature is a powerful, manipulative bitch with an evil sense of humor. And if you don't believe me, observe the following pictures taken during a brief stretch of my drive in Florida the other day:

Nice day, huh? I always love driving by LPGA Blvd. I used to tell my kids that they were going to rename it Di Blvd. when I became a famous golfer. So far, the existing name is pretty safe.

Oh my! Could be some thunderstorms rolling in. The lightning was beautiful and terrifying.

Um...this is the "view" from my windshield just a few minutes later. The little square on the windshield is my SunPass for the Florida Turnpike...I like to call it my FastPass because driving in Florida is kind of like a Disney thrill ride. Couldn't see in front of me. The driver in front of me was nonplussed by the whole thing, failing to turn on his lights so that I might have a clue of the proximity of my bumper to his. He must have been saying, "I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for quite a while." Movie reference, anyone?

I seem to be coming out the other side now. In my rear-view mirror, it looked like nighttime.

Yes...Mother Nature is also a show-off and she seems to get off on f***-ing with Florida!

Di

Back to Georgia

Monday morning, pretty much on a whim, I got in the car at 6:30 a.m. and drove to Boca Raton, FL. It was my daughter's birthday and she had been down there visiting friends for a week, so it seemed like the thing to do. The drive takes almost 12 hours, but it went by pretty quickly with only my own eating, drinking and bathroom needs to consider.

Whenever I travel, I always learn something. Even when it's 700 miles on I-95. For example, on this trip, I learned a great deal about the state of Georgia. Did you know what the state symbol of Georgia is?

Yes, it's the orange construction barrel. I know this because as soon as I entered the state, the speed limit dropped to 50 and the road was lined with a non-stop procession of these items. Georgia is PROUD of its state symbol!

I understand that the roads must be improved, but having a construction zone that is a whole state long is a little problematic. First of all, I had grown accustomed to my perky rate of 77 mph on the 70 mph road for the past two states. Speeding fines are doubled if men are working. No problem. But if I am going to slow down that much, could they post some HOT construction workers every few miles. Give us something to look at as we are crawling through the state!

Second of all, they should have warned me in South Carolina when I ordered that medium (fast food mediums are HUGE!!!) Coke at McDonald's. When I travel and need my caffeine, I like it in the original, full-sugar format. The Coke kicked in between exits in Georgia leaving me desperate for a rest stop with no way to speed up to get there faster.

How did I know that I was leaving Georgia? Well, the orange construction barrels came to an abrupt halt. Then, in the distance, I saw:

...hence, the raindrops on my window!

Di

Hey Jude

***Visit JudeGolf.com***

I had to use "Hey Jude" as the title because in a few years, when this young man is rocking the PGA tour, all of the news magazines and sports pages are going to be playing on the Beatles' song which bears his name.

Several years ago, my sister and her husband became custodians for Jude Eustaquio (you-stock-ee-o), a young teen golf phenom from the Philippines who wanted to pursue his golf dreams in the U.S. So my sister went from no kids to insta-Mom of a teen. Whoa! All the stress; none of the stretch marks!

In the years since, Jude has become a part of our family...I've even dropped the modifier on "adopted nephew" when I refer to him. I have pictures of Jude lifting my kids in the air. I even played golf with him once and he was REALLY nice about it. He said, "You are one of the best lady golfers I've played with...well, except Morgan Pressel." Yeah, that Morgan edges me out every time!

***Note - Jude holed out for birdie on this deep, plugged bunker shot. I would have tried three times, only to have the ball fall back in the bunker at which point I would have dejectedly given up!***

This past weekend, Jude showed his mental strength and physical talent by winning the Florida State Amateur Championship. This isn't just a bunch of college boys hacking around on the golf course, Jude came from behind to beat a 34-year old former professional tour player who had commented on the young golfers in the tournament the day before, "...these guys have to figure out how to get shots on a guy who has been there and done more than what they've currently done. They've still got some things to learn." Or maybe they have something to teach him! Oh, and just for fun, Jude broke the Jupiter Hills Club course record with his 66 on Sunday!

This fall, Jude will start his second year at Florida Southern (which spawned Rocco Mediate, recent US Open runner-up...he graduated in 1984...same year as ME!!! I'm feeling younger every minute) where he was named NCAA Division II First Team All-American in 2008.  This summer, he's traveling all over the country, playing tournaments, working on his game...and if I had to guess, making some current PGA players just a little nervous!

Di