Paradise...here I am. The sky is clear blue. The temperature is a breezy 80 degrees. Stone crabs are still in season. Three days ago I was golfing with a winter hat pulled down over my ears, three layers of clothes and "Hot Hands"...which really begged the question, "Whose definition of 'hot' are we talking about?" So you would think that I would relax and be mellow.
But it's simply not part of my chemical make-up. So this week's blogs may just be an ongoing accounting of things that irritate me as we are traveling.
1. I know I experienced the misery of traveling with a cranky toddler. I know how hard it is to try to stick to a "normal" schedule and put your little one to sleep in a strange hotel room. But now that my children are grown, I simply say, "Why don't they just f-ing stay home????" Last night, as we settled down around 10:30, we were treated to the overtired screams of a toddler somewhere in the vicinity of our room. I fought the urge to knock on their door and offer them our frequent flyer miles to go home and put the poor kid to sleep in his regular crib. He/she is too young to enjoy any facet of the vacation. So Mom and Dad are just putting everyone in their midst in misery to satisfy their own desires for a "normal" vacation...which is something they should have understood would be delayed for at least 10 years after little Skipper was born.
2. This is a decent hotel. It clearly caters to business travelers. I know this because they have "complimentary cocktails" (hmmm...maybe I should suggest THAT to the screechy toddler!) from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. and I see people wandering around with flip-charts. Yet, wireless internet is NOT INCLUDED IN THE PRICE OF OUR ROOM!!! Is that absurd? Ten bucks for 24 hours of something that is freely floating around in the air. Please feel free to e-mail me with any tricks to subvert this abomination.
3. Again, this is a decent hotel. Don't you think they could afford to label BOTH sides of the milk/2%/half & half containers so that caffeine-deprived vacationers could distinguish between them without lifting and turning them, because they had clearly been labeled by a left-hander. And about those brown stirrer straw things. They do not stand out indicating their presence, leaving the caffeine-starved desperately seeking a spoon. And don't you think it would be better for the environment to just let us have that moment of dignity...stirring our coffee with a REAL spoon.
I could go on and on...and have a Thursday Thirteen two days early. But I will continue to savor the absurdities of traveling to a place I didn't like when I lived there. Tune in tomorrow for the photo of the bubblegum pink Hummer. I know it's April 1, but I'm not making this up!
Di
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