Live and Let Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 61)

13 Things That Are Absurd in the Neurosciences Unit*
         *AKA Nut House, Psych Ward, etc.

I mentioned in a previous blog that I was in the hospital. I am in the Neurosciences Unit after struggling with a major depressive episode for several months. This is the right place to be. It's a wonderful teaching hospital. The patients and staff have all been friendly and helpful. I'm getting the help I need and am absolutely in the place I need to be in. But...it can not be denied that there are many absurdities in a place like this.

1. I am completely able and encouraged to walk around. However, when someone comes to get me to take me for an X-ray or CAT scan, I am immediately put in a wheelchair and must remain in it until I return.

2. Nurses can override Doctors' orders. For example, when I explained how therapeutic and cathartic writing is for me, the doctor did an order to allow me to use the laptop in my room. The nurses said that the doctors don't know the rules and the head of nursing said no.

3. The most anger and dissatisfaction here is about the food. The food is actually very good, but sometimes people don't get EXACTLY what they THINK they ordered. Some are VERY VOCAL about their meal complaints.

4. Someone comes in my room to take my vitals at about 5 a.m.

5. Some of the people who take the vitals come in, TURN ON THE LIGHT, and take the vitals at 5 a.m. Personally I think that it's more vital that I get more sleep than that they take my vitals!!!

6. Floss is not given out, so a nurse brought me some but I can't keep it in my room. When I feel the need to floss, I get it from the nurse, take the length I need, go to my room and floss and then bring back the floss in a plastic biohazard bag.

7. One tech came in to do an EKG (yes, a full EKG putting all those little dots all over your chest) about 1/2 hour after the 5 a.m. vitals visit.

8. Five adults (myself included) were enraptured playing Bingo on Christmas night. Hey, they were giving out prizes...I could have won a 1/2 pound bag of Hershey's Kisses.

9. I was not allowed to bring in my Blistex lip balm but then I got some Blistex lip balm in the gift bag the hospital gave to the patients. Maybe in the 4 days I was here before that day they downgraded lip balm from dangerous to acceptable.

10. No one has any qualms about sharing the details of what led to their admission here. And once it's shared, it's open season to make jokes about it.

11. Some of us on the ward came in with an additional wristband that had red X's on it. We have concluded that it identifies those of us with "good" insurance so they know to give us a private room. The people who didn't have that wristband were given double rooms.

12. Occupational and Recreational Therapy are actually quite fun! I thought it would be really lame stuff. But yesterday we did water color painting of scenes of lighthouses and I really enjoyed it. I am going to post some of the patients' work (with their permission of course) when I get released and can use my scanner.

13. This isn't absurd but what occurred to me after I got to know some of the patients is:

"We are all different, but we are all the same."

Love and lots of cyberhugs to all of the people who sent me e-mails of encouragement, caring and prayers.

Di

 

The Gift of the Magic Bookseller

The Gift of the Magic Bookseller

Since last Thursday, I have been a patient at UNC Chapel Hill hospital. I will probably be here at least until this Thursday. The whys and wherefores of that to be explained later.

After I was checked in, I asked my husband to bring me some clothes and books. In all, he brought four books. One was Four Wives which I have finished, but wanted to write up in the blog and send the feedback to the publisher.  One was Pillars of the Earth, which by its sheer length requires me to read it in small chunks rather than all the way through. One was Four Trials by John Edwards which I read in the first 24 hours I was here. And the other was an Advance Reader Copy of a book sent to me by a publisher to read which was not grabbing me.

So I was in a quandary. The first magazine I picked up was a Better Homes and Gardens from 2006. So I decided, on the Saturday night before Christmas, if there was any way I could order books and get them delivered here to the hospital, that would be a lifesaver!

So being the good Book Sense affiliate that I am, I looked for the closest independent bookstore and found Market Street Books in Chapel Hill. When I explained my plight to the young lady on the phone, she asked me to speak to the owner. Kathryn got on the phone and immediately had an answer for me. Yes...if I could just call her back and let her know what books I had in mind, she would PERSONALLY deliver them to the hospital for me the following morning. Not only that, but she mentioned that she had some errands to do and would be going to Target if there was anything else I needed.

Sure enough, the next morning the books were delivered and I was blown away by the kindness and generosity of Kathryn and believe me, I will be visiting Market Street Books whenever I get the chance to be in Chapel Hill. I hope you will too!

One of these fine people, I'm sure, is Kathryn...and as for the rest of them, I hope that they learn from their boss's generosity and willingness to go above and beyond the expected.

And THAT my friends and readers is why I believe in and will continue to patronize LOCAL, INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORES!!!

I will find a way to thank Kathryn and the people at Market Street Books, but for now I just want to let them know how they touched my life at a time when I really needed some books and had no way to get out and get them.

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 60)

Thirteen Things I'll Be Bringing Back from Our Holiday Trip to Florida

1. Some crow for Kim to eat while she's crying in her beer over the Dolphins (1-13) victory over the Patriots (14-0) on December 23.

The Fins may have had a tough year, but they have this strange habit of surprising their fans just as they are about to leave Joe Robbie Stadium (as it will always be to me) in droves for the lure of South Beach, topless European models and crisp, cold martinis. My prediction? 21-20 Fins...with the Patriots crying the blues over a missed extra point. Although I hear the Patriots are going to play their high school scrimmage team against the Dolphins, I predict that this guy:

Jason Taylor...is going to put the hurt on this guy:

What's his name? Greg Brady or something?...at least once in the game.

The one possible spoiler? This guy:

Larry Izzo...who used to play for the Dolphins and was Mr. Special Teams extraordinaire!

2. Lots of Christmas presents

I know...it's all about the giving more than the receiving and all that...but my kids are the only grandchildren on my side and all grandchildren are spoiled on my husband's side. The one GREAT thing is that this MIGHT be the year we don't have to actually ship stuff back because the older they get, the smaller and more expensive their gifts get.

3. A Deep Dark Tropical Tan

Yeah...not really. I lived there too many years to be enamored by sunshine in December.

4. My Flannel Jammies

I know they are down there in my closet or dresser or something and I am tired of wearing sweats and sweatshirts to bed because it's cold here in NC (I don't want to hear the whining from the Boston contingent, Amy and Karen...or the Toronto gals, Ali and Haley-O.

5. One Less Piece of Worthless Florida Real Estate

One less monkey on our back. Many fewer bills to pay. Barring any unforeseen catastrophes (which is not a given), we close on the sale on December 31. Now THAT'S more of a reason to drink champagne than celebrating a new year!

6. Every Piece of Furniture We Own

We have a renter moving into our final piece of worthless Florida real estate, so we have to get ALL of our stuff out.

7. All My Books

My husband is going to try to get me to put them on Craigslist or something, but I'm bringing them with me!

8. My Mr. Coffee 12 Cup Programmable Coffeemaker

Boy do I miss this thing!!! I have my "vacation home" $15 from Wal-Mart coffeemaker here and "programming" consists of remembering to put water AND coffee grounds in the night before and finding my bleary-eyed way to the "on" button at 5:45 a.m.

9. My Pressure Cooker

As my DH (we'll say "darling husband" for now...sometimes we can replace with other adjectives that start with "D" depending on the mood) was bringing stuff back little by little, he brought my Pressure Cooker Cookbook...but not my pressure cooker! Actually the only dish I make in that is Arroz Con Pollo, but I'm looking forward to getting that little piece of cookery up here just for that!

10. Book Reviews (Click to buy from BookSense)

 

Even though we'll be packing, seeing family and catching up with friends, I hope to be able to have some quiet, down-time to read some last books of 2007. I'll probably finish Four Wives today. Pillars will be an ongoing read. And Charlie Wilson's War will be coming in one of the Amazon packages currently winging its way to Florida under the two-gifts-for-them-one-gift-for-me rule. It was recommended by Billy. Now who could resist reading a book recommended by this guy?

11.  My Sanity

Hey...if you don't aim high with your wishes and dreams, you have no chance, right?

12. A New Plan and New Outlook for 2008

2008 is going to be a transition year for us...an although our history of making and sticking to plans is not stellar...it's still nice to have a plan.

13. More Books to Read in  2008

Between my family who have all learned that books, book accessories and book gift cards are always the perfect gift and my little cadre of publishers who are kind enough to send me Advance Reader Copies and my tendency to buy myself a gift or two and put it under the tree from Santa...I'm sure I'll be all set for January!

Di

A Dysfunctional Family Christmas Present

If YOU or YOUR family thinks you have a dysfunctional family, simply print this out, wrap it up and have a warm, lovely family Christmas:

Irony...it's the new coal in one's stocking.

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 59)

Thirteen of My Favorite Books from 1997

When it gets toward the end of the year, I can hardly wait for all the lists...best movies, worst performances, best dressed, etc. So I've gone back in time to the journal I started keepin in 1997. I was a very stingy book-rater at the time, giving not a single one of the 76 books I read that year more than an 8 on my 1-10 scale. So, these are the thirteen most memorable of the books that I gave my highest rating (in no particular order).

***If you feel inclined to buy any of these books, please click on the book jacket to do so or on my BookSense Logo. This not only supports local, independent bookstores, but part of my affiliation includes a donation of proceeds to Books for Kids***

1.
  Frank McCourt was an elderly phenom with the spash of Angela's Ashes onto the literary scene. He wrote of the abject poverty making the reader's skin crawl thinking of the dirt and the vermin and the rancid food that kept them alive.

"Worse than the ordinary miserable childhood is the miserable Irish childhood, and worse yet is the miserable Irish Catholic childhood."

So if I now told you that this book is a book that made me laugh out loud, you would think I was crazy right? But somehow McCourt makes the seemingly unbearable, not just tolerable, but humorous!


2.
Crooked Little Heart was my first Anne Lamott fiction, read on the recommendation of the mostly-reliable Amy (we have mostly forgiven her for The Stolen Child) who has probably been my most consistent recommender of the last ten years.

I personally don't think Anne Lamott is capable of writing anything that is not intensely personal, and Crooked Little Heart is no exception. It draws from her own experience living in a competitive family, excelling at tennis and seeking the family she dreams of by living vicariously through the families of her friends.

3.
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb...read it before Oprah picked it. I'm sorry, I just can't help myself. I love what Oprah has done for books and reading, but I just feel compelled to let you know that I read it BEFORE it received the Oprah stamp of approval. The most interesting aspect of this book to me is that it is written by a man and told so believably from the perspective of a woman.

This is a long and somewhat convoluted book, but I remember I shared my love of this book with my sister who doesn't have the time I have to read the long, long books, but loved this one and recently inspired me to read The Pillars of the Earth...which is REALLY long! Oh...and ALSO an Oprah selection...several days AFTER I placed my order for it with Quail Ridge Books! Why is this so important to me???

4.
If presidential candidates had enough faith in the voters that they might have an attention span beyond a 3 minute and 14 second song (I'm thinking "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac in the 1992 Clinton campaign), The Tortilla Curtain by T. C. Boyle could be the literature of John Edwards and his "Two Americas".

The two extremes of our society are no more apparent than in California...where illegal Mexican immigrants clean the homes and  do the landscaping for people with such extreme wealth that neither can fathom the lives the others lead. The clash of the two ends of the spectrum in the realm of real people rather than statistics makes this novel bring to life the expansion of these two unreal worlds and the diminishing of the middle class.

5.
Joyce Carol Oates...undeniably one of the most prolific and diverse authors of modern times examines the dysfunctional family, probably before it was so cliche to do so, in this beautifully written novel. We Were the Mulvaneys is difficult, sometimes painful, to read.

What does a family do when faced with an unspeakable crisis? When one of its members is threatened? Oates explores and digs and finds the sometimes unpalatable reality of that situation.

And YES, Oprah selected it LONG after I read it!!!

6.
My first Elizabeth Berg...another Amy recommendation...Ms. Berg apparently lives somewhere in New England and was a local favorite before she gained her more national recognition.

Talk Before Sleep is about friendship. It will make you cry. It will make you think about your most treasured friendships. If you aren't Berged out by her subsequent novels, it will make you appreciate the early work of a gifted author.

7.
Kathryn Harrison's ultra-controversial The Kiss details her sexual relationship...not even as abuse...but as a love affair of sorts. Sometimes I cannot think of words to describe a book that does it better than quoting the book itself:

"We meet at airports. We meet in cities where we've never been before. We meet where no one will recognize us...With his hand under my chin, my father draws my face toward his own. He touches his lips to mine. I stiffen."

Haunting.


8. 
In Drinking: A Love Story, the now tragically deceased Caroline Knapp describes her many, many years as a functioning alcoholic. You can't be an alcoholic if you drink only the finest wines, right? You can't be an alcoholic if you still make it to work every day? Knapp will make you question your thoughts about your own drinking habits and the habits of those around you.

She forces us to think that only the dirt-covered homeless man with a bottle of MD 20-20 in a paper bag has a problem with drinking.

9.
I had no interest in mountain climbing. Didn't understand what was involved in climbing Everest. I had only a passing, front page, understanding of the disaster on the face of Mount Everest in May, 1996. My friend Nancy, who lives in Oregon, who has been on Oprah as a reader of The Book of Ruth and whose book recommendations I have been listening to for probably almost 20 years, recommended Into Thin Air. Jon Krakauer was a survivor of the Everest disaster who writes at times with the dispassionate descriptive air of the journalist that he is, but intertwines it with his clearly emotional and surreal memories of the events involved.

I literally could not put it down without causing myself severe distress. I don't disclose this to many people...but I carried it into the bathroom with me because I could not find a stopping point to turn it over and continue on after peeing!

10.
Jane Hamilton's A Map of the World was another Amy recommendation that rocked my world as a typical suburban Mom.

How many times to we blithely agree to watch our friends' children? How much do we love having friends with whom we can excange thoughts, feelings and kids? It's an integral part of the fabric of the life of most moms that I know.

Jane Hamilton turns that world upside-down in an instant and carries the reader into a house of mirrors where nothing is as it looks and you feel all dizzy and unreal until you reach the last page. Mesmerizing!

11.
For some reason, I am the only person I know who is a die-hard Larry Watson fan. White Crosses had me held in its thrall from the first page to the last. I still remember the disbelief I felt when I read a certain paragraph that completely upended my take on the novel.

I  wrote my first author fan letter to Larry Watson in 1997. I didn't get a response. I don't care. I just wanted him to keep writing. It's been 10 years...maybe he'll come across my letter and respond. But I don't care...White Crosses was a gift enough.

Larry Watson's website...not that I'm stalking him or anything...says that White Crosses has been optioned as a film, but it doesn't appear in IMDB as of yet.
12.
Ubiquitous in 1997? Yes! But Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is a fun book that gave a more national presence to the Southern, drunken, dysfunctional mother genre...a genre I love, by the way!

Despite some of the questionable choices these moms, led by the colorful Vivi, made...we began to call ourselves "Ya-Ya's" if we had a group of close friends who drew our families together because of our friendships.

13.
Amy and I thought we discovered the newest voice with Jenn Crowell's Necessary Madness. But with her 2002 follow-up of Letting the Body Lead, proved disappointing at best.

Crowell's debut, however, is the beautifully written story of a young woman whose husband dies of leukemia and how she starts older. It's brilliant!

Anyone remember what they were reading in 1997? I know I'm late posting this, so I'm not going to fuss with the formatting...I hope you'll forgive me!

Di

The Devil in the White City

It's been a while since I've done a book review and this one has been on my list to do for months. I've actually read The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson twice (once in 2003 based on the recommendation of Bookmarks magazine and again in 2007 for my Book Group). I first "met" Erik Larson in April of 2000 when I read Isaac's Storm which was recommended by my friend Paula. We had both lived in Miami and braved Hurricane Andrew back in 1992 and were fascinated with the history, science and anecdotal stories of past hurricanes. Isaac's Storm took you right into the path of the hurricane that was bearing down on Galveston, TX and still stands today as the United States' greatest natural disaster, killing over 6,000 people. It details the struggle of Isaac Cline to understand the meteorological events he was tracking with the new weather-analysis technology, combining the story of one man in the context of the detailed description of the terrifying storm that pounded an unsuspecting Galveston.

Larson uses this same formula in The Devil in the White City, with an interesting twist. In the late 1800's, Chicago, the "also-ran" of American cities...always struggling in the shadow of New York City, Philadelphia and Washington, DC, decided to throw its hat in the ring to host the 1893 World's Fair. Coming on the heels of the World's Fair in Paris in 1889 where the French put up their awe-inspiring, but "temporary", Eiffel tower, Chicago would have to prove its worth and make sure that its Fair broke the records and stunned the world like that of Paris just a few years before. In and of itself, the story of the men and women involved in creating the White City of the Chicago World's Fair would be compelling. But it seems that at the same time, when people were coming from all over the world to see the fair, America's first serial killer was at work, preying on young women coming to Chicago for work opportunities and the chance to escape the constraints of their small-town shackles.

As in Isaac's Storm, Larson's account of the Chicago World's Fair is impeccably researched but reads like fiction. The Devil in the White City draws the reader in with the selflessness of the Fair planners, the foibles of some of the dislay designers and the charm of a good-looking, well turned-out serial killer, not to mention the incredible impact the Fair had on the U.S. and the world.

As you are mesmerized by the story, you will learn of visiting Royalty, a connection to the Titanic disaster, the brainchild of a certain George Ferris and even the origin of the name "Pabst Blue Ribbon". For people like me who love to learn about history...but in a context that makes it personal...The Devil in the White City definitely earns my 5 stars!

 

***I am still playing around with the links and coding for my BookSense affliliation. Please feel free to give me feedback and bear with me while I figure it all out!***

Di

Pushing the Incredulity Envelope

I promise to blog more about Nashville and post some pictures when I download them from my phone, but I tore this piece out of the newspaper the day I left. It was a story about the young man who killed 8 people and then himself in a department store. Here is the part that left me incredulous:

"[The] woman who with her husband took Hawkins into their home because he had no other place to live, told the Omaha World-Herald that the night before the shooting, Hawkins and her sons showed her a semi-automatic rifle. She said she thought the gun looked too old to work."

Huh? So if she thought it would work she might have intervened and taken the gun away? Even if it was too old to work, did she really want her sons and the young man with problems so deep that no one else wanted to take him in to have a gun to be toting around? What if he just walked into the mall with a semiautomatic rifle that DIDN'T work, he would have terrified people, causing incredible distress and certainly law enforcement involvement.

I don't care what the NRA says...Mom, take the gun, any gun, away from these kids!!! Yeah, I know guns don't kill people, people kill people and all that...but if that was the gun and it was taken away from him when he calmly showed it to the people with whom he was staying, maybe he would have changed his mind before he was able to get another gun, maybe he wouldn't be able to get another gun, maybe he would have found a gun that required reloading at some point and some of the 8 people would have been able to escape while he was reloading. I don't know enough about guns to be discussing this.

BUT I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT BEING A PARENT THAT ANY CHILD SHOWING ME ANY KIND OF WEAPON IS NOT ASKING FOR MY ADMIRATION OF THE WEAPON, BUT IS CRYING OUT TO BE STOPPED OR HELPED OR SOMETHING!!!

Di

We Interrupt EVERYTHING...

...because my husband, about whom I waxed rhapsodic in this post, whisked me off for a romantic weekend in NASHVILLE! I woke up yesterday not knowing where we were going and woke up this morning in the luxurious sheets of the Vanderbilt Marriott.

And no, I wouldn't rather be in the Bahamas, St. Thomas or Paris...because I've never been to Nashville, I've wanted to come here and let's face it, our boots are walking on the hallowed ground that Loretta Lynn's did back in the day.

We had a beer or two at the very place where Johnny Cash threw back a shot or two between performances at the Grand Ole Opry...and we're talking the REAL Grand Ole Opry...not the 21st century Disney-esque Opryland. I took pictures of what was probably the nastiest ladies' room I've ever seen (betcha can't wait for those pictures!), but come on, Patsy Cline might have peed there!

We watched a band at Legends Corner while looking at all the album covers on the wall. Remember Mac Davis? Well, neither did I...but back in the 70's, someone actually CHOSE that blue jumpsuit he's wearing on the cover of his album. Hurley took a picture of me in front of Johnny Cash's guitar. The bartender looked like Loretta Lynn in her middle years, complete with teased beehive over long brown hair. The band was so good that it made you really appreciate what it must take to make it in this business. Next time you turn your nose up at some one-hit wonder, keep in mind that there but for the grace of Patsy Cline's ghost, he/she might still be playing for tips collected in an empty mayonnaise jar at Legends or Tootsie's.

Well, you'll have to wait until Monday for more...because right now I'm going to focus the next 24 hours on enjoying these luxurious sheets, reveling in some good country music and loving my husband!

Di

It Makes Book Sense To Me!

Some of you may have noticed the new logo posted on my sidebar. For over 10 years now, I have been a huge fan of Quail Ridge Books here in Raleigh, NC. I continued to be a customer even when I moved out of state for two years. I recently went to a WONDERFUL book-signing there by Elizabeth Edwards.

At that time, I made it my mission to promote the use of independent bookstores. In the case of Quail Ridge Books, like so many other independent bookstores, their very existence is threatened by the presence of Amazon and big-box bookstores. But what I have found is that the selection, quality and customer service of a good independent bookstore cannot compete with Amazon or the big stores with escalators and coffee shops. Independents seek out book LOVERS rather than book SELLERS as employees. They go way above and beyond to help you find what you are looking for and to get you what you need...even if you walk in saying something non-sensical like, "OK, it was the book with the blue cover and I think it had a tree on it and I think the author's last name starts with a T."

After my post about supporting local, independent bookstores, I was invited by BookSense to become an affiliate. I had already started linking my cover art to Quail Ridge Books rather than Amazon (which seems to have some kind of deal with Type Pad because if you post a book using the ISBN # it automatically posts the link to Amazon).

Now, if you click on the logo on my blog, it will take you to a page where you enter your zip code and it will take you to a list of local independents from which you can order. In my experience, their prices and shipping policies are comparable to Amazon. The communication about your order often takes place with a real person. If you click on the logo on my blog and end up ordering something, I will get some kind of nominal compensation. I'm not really sure how much...so far all I've figured out is how to put the logo up with my affiliate ID in it.

I am pretty sure that I am not going to become wealthy with the proceeds, but I will be doing my part to promote local, independent bookstores...and I am committing to donating 25% of the proceeds to Books for Kids.

"Books for Kids (a non-profit organization) is devoted to making books available           to kids at no cost and to promote the love of reading in the children           of North Carolina. Of course, that takes money on the front end from           people who share our mission. This organization seeks to raise funds           to provide books for children working through a variety of qualified           groups. The Salvation Army, YMCA, numerous churches, shelters, orphanages           as well as various state agencies are examples of organizations Books           for Kids might work with."

The Board Members of Books for Kids include: Elizabeth Edwards, Nancy Olson (owner of Quail Ridge Books), along with noted Southern authors Margaret Maron and Kaye Gibbons and a host of other local philanthropists.

So, I am not going to be all demure and "shop where you like"...I am shamelessly begging you to go through my blog and click on my Book Sense link whenever you are on-line shopping for books. It will be good for everyone! When I have more time, I am going to learn to link my cover art directly to a description of the book so you don't have to enter your zip code every time. But give me time on that. I'm a little busy. So bear with me while I get this thing up and running and figure out all the ins and outs. In the meantime...there is still plenty of time to shop for the holidays...click here if you are going to buy books!

Happy book shopping!

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 58)

THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT FASTING BLOODWORK

I'm well aware that it is not Halloween, but it is time for my annual fasting bloodwork so I thought I would dazzle you with some bloody artwork along with my TT:

1. I am not scared of needles. I watch while they put the needle in. I give blood whenever possible. The nurses usually tell me to turn away...I don't.

2. Fasting means no food except water and black coffee (ugh) until your appointment.

3. My appointment is at 9:00 a.m.

4. I normally get up at 5:45 a.m.

5. I normally have a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal before my kids even get up at 6.

6. Coffee makes me somewhat tolerable to people who want to talk to me in the morning.

7. By 9:00 a.m. I would normally be finishing my 4th cup of coffee (it really does get better with age in the coffee pot!) Actually, given that I get up at 5:45 a.m., 9:00 a.m. is practically lunchtime for me!!!

8. At 9:00 I will probably be shaking and sweating in the waiting room at the doctor's office.

9. I will most likely forget to throw a granola bar or something in my purse to scarf down as soon as the test is done.

10. The phlebotomist (I think that is such a cool word ever since I learned it when I had to take my 2 year old to a pediatric phlebotomist where my main purpose was to throw my entire body over her so she wouldn't move...it's pretty much the same now that she's 14) will probably be late for work.

11. I will probably start sliding out of my chair and onto the floor in a dead faint or seizure before they get around to calling me.

12. Everyone there will have had coffee and breakfast. Their very breath will reek of it. I will hate them.

13. All in all, I would rather have a Pap test, three shots and a bikini wax than fasting blood work!!!

Wish me luck!

Di