Thirteen Things I Learned Going to My First Dart Tournament Last Night
My friends, Kim & Jim, and various and sundry friends, family, in-laws, exes, etc. (we'll get to that later) play in a weekly dart league. Last night was the finals, so I decided to go along and watch. Kim had told me a little bit about the games but when she did, my eyes glazed over like hers do when I talk about golf. So, to say the least, it was educational:
1. There are eight teams in each division in our area.
2. Yes, there are DIVISIONS of dart teams...I mean, this is like the AFC and NFC in Pro Football, the ACC and SEC in College Football. This is serious.
3. Well, it's as serious as any other sport that is played while the players are consuming large quantities of beer.
4. Just as I would not show up for a golf tournament and just use a set of clubs from the pro shop, a dart team member would not show up at a dart tournament without his/her own special (presumably very expensive) darts. One would never use the lame, overused darts that the casual player at the bar might use on any other night.
5. This particular division would have Richard Dawson's head spinning if they starred in Family Feud. To understand, one would have to have one of those name and generation guides provided in the front of long Russian Novels. On Kim's team is her husband, her brother, her sister-in-law (married to another brother) and her neighbor's cousin. On the opposing team was Kim's first husband (father of her two sons). If the darts don't interest you, trying to figure out all the familial connections will.
6. They play one game called 301. The object is to score up to 301 and then back down to zero...exactly zero...actually a double that brings you exactly down to zero. This game requires that your team have one or two players who can...
7. Do lots of arithmetic. Subtracting is not easy despite what we tell our first graders. Some teams use their token non-drinker in this roll and some teams hope that their drunkest player will at least err on the side of his/her own team. In addition to math skills, scorekeepers must be...
8. Brave souls with quick reflexes, as the scoreboards are conveniently located on THE SAME WALL as the dart boards.
9. 301 requires that each player "double in" and "double out" which means you can't even begin to score until you put one of your darts into the teeny tiny area on the outer ring of the dartboard.
10. Each team has its own home bar...so there is such a thing as "home bar advantage". But they aren't just playing with the normal dartboard that normally hangs on the bar's wall...they have "special" dartboards so that it levels the playing field and all teams are using the same standard dartboard regardless of which bar you are playing at. Kind of like you wouldn't be allowed to have a 110 yard football field at one stadium and a 97 yard field at another stadium.
11. There is another game called Cricket...no, not THAT Cricket that they play in England and wear fancy white clothes for. This involves getting your dart to land on certain numbers a certain number of times before your opponent does. Cricket requires...
12. Much less math skill. I don't know this to be true, but I surmised that the reason Cricket is played AFTER 301 is that by this point in the match, no one, even the non-drinkers, can handle all that subtraction. The score is kept primarily by x's and o's indicating how many one has scored on each number and extra numbers (which require only adding, not subtracting).
13. It was lots of fun to watch. It made me want to learn to play darts. But I know that I can't be on the dart team unless I marry one of Kim's brothers (who are both married), have an affair with her ex-husband (and sorry, the pony-tail look just doesn't grab me anymore) or BE REALLY GOOD AT DARTS! Since the former two don't seem likely and the latter seems bloody impossible, I guess I'll just sit on the sidelines and play the occasional amateur game at the Cantina!
Di
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