Last night, at the incomparable Quail Ridge Books, my friend Shirley and I were delighted to be in the audience when Elizabeth Edwards did a reading and a signing for her book, Saving Graces. I had borrowed Shirley's copy of the book and was about halfway through reading it when I listened to and later spoke to Mrs. Edwards. I, of course, also bought my own copy of the book which she personalized and signed.
As Elizabeth Edwards approached the podium after being introduced by QRB owner and Raleigh institution, Nancy Olson (whom I incidentally "met" well over 10 years ago on an AOL newsgroup called Favorite Fiction), one couldn't help but feel like an old friend had just entered the room to join in a chat amongst friends. She was dressed casually, she looked the slightest bit tired as anyone on the campaign trail would be and she apologized somewhat nervously when she couldn't find a particular passage she meant to share. Her eyes scanned the crowd, giving a wave here and a wink there when she saw a friend or a former student.
She began to talk in a way that seemed utterly unplanned and sincere. This was not an evening of self-promotion, book-promotion or campaigning. When she referred to her husband, John, it was as the husband and father of her family, not as the presidential candidate. The topics she chose to talk about were personal rather than political. I felt like she was coming home to Quail Ridge Books, a place where she felt at home, shopped with her children and nurtured her love of reading well before becoming a "political wife". Raleigh has been her home since she and John graduated from law school. Having been raised the daughter of a military family, she moved 14 times in her first 17 years and Raleigh is the only hometown she knows.
She shared a story about her insistence that her editor not change her wording in a particular paragraph because she felt so strongly that the wording captured the horror of a woman who survived Hiroshima. The book is not ghost-written...it is written by her and written beautifully. And she won me over completely when she talked about her passion for grammar and insistence on its proper use...Go Elizabeth!!!
She briefly, but passionately, spoke of Books for Kids, a non-profit organization started by Quail Ridge Books and enthusiastically embraced by Elizabeth Edwards. Nancy Olson pledged 20% of the evening's sales to go to Books for Kids which has provided underprivileged children with over 50,000 books since its inception. Elizabeth Edwards is joined on the Board of Directors by a who's who of local authors and philanthropists including Margaret Maron (Bootlegger's Daughter, to name one of many), Kaye Gibbons (Ellen Foster, an Oprah's Book Club selection), of course Nancy Olson...as well as local Democrats AND Republicans, as well as NC State and UNC Chapel Hill folks (Elizabeth and John, having graducated from UNC Chapel Hill, are die-hard Tarheels).
One of the most defining moments in Elizabeth's life was the death of their son Wade in a car accident when he was just 16. As she spoke of her loss and the losses she ended up sharing with a grief group she came upon on the internet, she did not sugarcoat it with talk of courage in the face of adversity...she spoke with utter candor of the overpowering grief, the guilt she felt about talking to others who were also grieving for Wade and the recognition that there is nothing wrong with hitting bottom in your grief at a time like that. She gave a beautiful piece of advice to anyone who has a friend dealing with the grief of losing someone, "Let them cry, let them hit bottom, but don't let them do anything irrevocable." She told of someone who purged all pictures of the child, edited him out of home movies, etc. Saying that this is NOT an irrational response at a time of such abject grief, she urged people to step in and offer to remove all of those painful memories, but keep them for later when holding the person's sweater that still smells of him might bring comfort, or showing the picture while telling someone about her will feel alright.
Edwards did not speak directly about her breast cancer and subsequent matastasizing to her bones, except to thank people in the audience who were wearing pink or wearing the breast cancer ribbon in remembrance of Breast Cancer Awareness month.
After speaking and taking a few questions, Ms. Edwards sat at a table signing books, talking to people, but mostly listening to stories of their losses. I expressed my admiration for her writing style while Nancy stood behind her and mentioned that I would be reviewing her book in my blog. I was unprepared, had no business cards with me, because she asked me what my blog was and I had to kind of blurt it out instead of handing her a card that had the URL on it. So I will hope that Nancy will pass it along.
When my friend Shirley had her book signed and told Elizabeth of the death of her brother from leukemia when he was very young, Elizabeth held Shirley's hand and offered her sympathy as if his death had happened yesterday. The staff put a small basket on the table at which she was sitting for those who wanted to contribute to Books for Kids, a contribution that Elizabeth Edwards assured us we would never regret.
Saving Graces is subtitled "Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers". Although it shares details of Elizabeth's life, it is not a memoir in the purest sense. It is an inspirational, down-to-earth book from a woman who would fit in at any gathering of people, who is her own person balancing her social, outspoken personality with her role as a "political wife".
When I finish Saving Graces, I will be writing a full review of the book, but I wanted to share my feelings after a wonderful evening with a truly amazing woman. Thank you Elizabeth, for opening your heart to us. Thank you Nancy for continuing to have the BEST independent bookstore on earth and for bringing the best and brightest of current authors into our little town.
When I saw Elizabeth Edwards at a book-signing at 
1. Livestock Exhibits - they smell...really bad. 
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