Live and Let Di

Buy a Friend a Book Week

***click above icon for more info***

It's back! I've had the countdown on the sidebar of my blog and it has counted down MUCH faster than the countdown to the iPhone widget I have on my dashboard (61 days and counting!!!)

So now I am wondering what backflips I can make my readers do in order to get a free book from me. Well, I'm going to try something different and work this thing geographically. Yesterday my husband, son, dog and I spent 12 hours in the car, arriving in Fuquay Varina, NC at a little after 1 a.m. Yes, there really is a town called Fuquay Varina (fyoo-kway...not foo-kway) and if you don't believe that it is charming, click here.

We lived her until about two years ago and we couldn't quite bear to leave it completely behind so we bought a little house to keep for vacations and summers. We don't visit here...we live here sporadically. We have the same friends we had before we moved along with some new ones. Within 12 hours of our arrival, my husband was on the golf course, my son was playing at a friend's house, my friend Sharis was over having coffee and my girlfriends and I had a tee time set for later in the day. We're home! So after a beautiful day of hearing "y'all", "might could" and "fixin' to" I got an idea.

In order to enter my contest to win a free book, all you have to do is click on the auto-link and leave a comment with an answer to this question:

What is your favorite book about the south? And if you are feeling generous, why?

In honor of my topic as well as my venue, the winner will receive the book of his/her choice (max. $30 please) from Quail Ridge Books (arguably the best independent bookstore, not just in the south, but anywhere!

I'm going to start thinking and perusing my book journal so I can blog about MY favorite book about the south...I hope you will do the same!!! And if, like me, you like good karma AND good books, go out and buy a friend a book for no reason whatsoever!!! And post a comment to tell us about it.  (Can you tell, I've been feeling a little bereft of comments lately...so I'm doing anything I can to get you to comment!)

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 23)

13 Expectations of Starbucks and its Customers

1. Starbucks will play innocuous music at an ambient volume…loud enough to mute the dull chatter of its patrons but soft enough to allow me and mes amies to banter with our gossip and bons mots.

2. Customers will know their drink BEFORE they are greeted by the friendly barista. Everyone behind you knows their drinks and will be very annoyed if you say, “Hmmm…what’s the difference between the mocha and the frappacino?”

3. Please note that the barista says, “What can I get for you?” not, “How are you doing?” The answer, therefore, is your order (see above), not “How are you doing this morning? Hmmmmm…what’s good today?”

4. Customers should not say “Hmmmm…” at all.

5. The baristas don’t want to know you or your name…just your drink. If you end up being a regular, they might care about your name, your life, etc. but not today and not if there is a line. They only ask your name to differentiate your grande non-fat vanilla latte from the grande sugar-free vanilla latte behind you. If you give them your name as Shari and they spell it Sherry, Sheree, Sheri, Sharie or whatever…they do not need to be corrected. You need to live with it or change the spelling of your name.

6.  New customers should show signs of awe and reverence when they see that the barista knows my order before I get to the front of the line and will simply ask, “Is Haley with you today?” so they know whether or not to make hers.

7. New customers should prostrate themselves before Laura when they realize that at the Starbucks on Palmetto & Powerline, there is an item that is simply referred to as “Laura’s”…when ordered by Laura herself or any of her minions who are doing her bidding (me, Eric).

8. This probably goes without saying, but regulars get to sit where they always sit. The old man in the glasses with the newspaper and plaid pants sits at the comfy chair by the window. The guy with the laptop sits in the first table past the other comfy chairs, next to the wall (probably a power cord thing and his secret yearning to hear every morself of our usually inappropriate conversation). The pretty blonde working mom with the impossibly cute 3-year old can sit in any of the comfy chairs because she’s never there long enough to keep us from taking them over when we are ready. Bono will come in later (it’s not really him, but it might as well be….I mean he REALLY looks like Bono) leaving us humming “but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” all day and will never sit anywhere…he will just stand there, looking like Bono…because that’s what he does best.

9. Payment should be made with a Starbucks card or a credit card (no signature necessary on either). If you MUST pay with cash, do NOT hold up the line while you search for the pennies to make the right change. Give them the extra dollar and put the change in the tip jar.

10. If you need to reload your Starbucks card and there is a long line behind you, pay with a credit card or cash and go up to reload when the line winds down or next time you come in…especially if the person on the register is new.

11. Children are welcome. Screaming and/or whining children should be removed immediately.

12. If you buy a coffee, you can stay all day, use the place as your office, use their electricity for your laptop, etc. But for the comfort of those around you, please put your phone on vibrate and if you MUST take a cell phone call, don’t talk any louder than you would if the person on the other end was across the table from you.

13. All I want from Starbucks for Christmas is for them to find some Christmas music other than Sarah McLachlan.

Nineteen Minutes

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult was disappointing. I became a Jodi Picoult fan when Amy (yes, the same Amy who was excoriated for recommending The Stolen Child and Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen) recommended The Pact several years ago. I still remember every character in The Pact and remember the visceral impact the story had on my concepts of family, parenting and friendship. But, like many other authors whose names become a “brand” and whose books become insta-best-sellers, I think that the quantity results in a lack of quality.

My primary issue with Nineteen Minutes has nothing to do with Picoult as an author. It is that Lionel Shriver did such an amazing job with the same issue of school shootings, parental responsibility and nature vs. nurture in We Need to Talk About Kevin, that perhaps that spoiled me for the topic. It’s kind of like when I went to a karaoke party all pumped up to sing a Patsy Cline song and the woman for whom the party was given got up and sang “Crazy”, leaving me in the dust before I ever sang a note. (I ended up singing Mary Chapin Carpenter’s Lucky and getting kudos for my smoky voice. I still yearn to sing Patsy Cline, but will forever feel inferior not only to the original, but to an amateur at a party who just happened to get up there first.) Shriver used the first person perspective of the shooter’s mother and the epistolary format to invite the reader into the mind of a mother shattered by the actions of the child to whom she gave life. I read the book twice…once on my own and once for a book group…and I continue to give it my unqualified endorsement more than three years after my initial reading.

Jodi Picoult has fallen into the trap of writing from the surface rather than digging deep into the story and the characters to draw us in. First of all, there are too many characters. To whom are we supposed to identify? The thinly developed judge whose daughter survives the shooting? The shooter’s mother whose reactions, while believable, are only lightly touched on? The policeman whose motivations are intimated but not expanded upon? The attorney whose baby may evoke a hopeful future or an alternative to the ultimate fate of the shooter, but never quite does?

This novel could have been wondrous if it had been more limited in scope. If Picoult had chosen to delve deeply into two or three characters, their involvement in and impact of the shooting, I think I would have been more deeply connected to this novel. But instead, it felt like an outline for a novel instead of a novel. I have had the same feelings about Michael Crichton’s later novels. It was like once Jurassic Park provided a crossover to the movies, every Crichton novel read more like a screenplay than a novel.

Picoult’s earlier novels…most notably The Pact, Plain Truth and Keeping Faith… combined an “issue” theme with intensely developed characters that allowed the reader to imagine them and relate to them. It was as far back as 2002 with Perfect Match that my book ratings began dropping and my comments began reading “typical, readable Picoult”. I don’t want “typical”. I don’t want “readable”. I want to be challenged. I want my imagination to be inspired to visualize the characters and walk in their shoes. I don’t want to be spoon-fed plotlines. I don’t want to know what is going to happen because we can’t possibly read 400+ pages just to make us think and examine the story, the characters and as is Picoult’s style, the issue. I suppose when one becomes a “brand name” as Picoult glibly states in her acknowledgements, one must appeal to the masses and dumb down one’s prose, plot and characterization.

A reading of Jodi Picoult’s earlier novels makes evident her talent. A glance at the back cover of the book shows her to be a beautiful woman. A perusal of her acknowledgements hints that she spends time researching her topic as well as her characters. I just wish she would spend more time on the writing and write for the people who loved her work before she was a “brand name.” Not to put too fine a point on it, but Danielle Steele, Mary Higgins Clark and Sue Grafton are brand names and their work is predictable and facile. Pat Conroy, John Irving and Stephen King are prolific as well as successful, but still manage to catch us off-guard and stun us with their talent. I would love to include Jodi Picoult in the later group, instead of the

Real Moms...Part Deux

Guest blogger, Amy, sends in the following in response to her tag (with minor edits from yours truly):

(i'll even use capitals for once!)

Real moms are NOT their kids' friends.

At times, they may even feel like enemies, or strangers forced to sit next to each other on a long plane ride.

At best, you can be your child's mentor (if you do your homework before watching TV, you will grow up to be happy and rich instead of miserable and never having enough money to buy your own skittles), confidante (ie. listening to mind-numbing and incredibly detailed stories of WHY susan, who came to school wearing a red shirt and her hair was straightened because, like, her older sister sarah?  she straightened it?  and she's in high school and has this boyfriend?  and then susan told julie whose mom made her bring the grossest sandwich ever to school and she didn't have enough money to buy a lunch?  and so then she had to make up this story that she...), repository of wisdom (mixing balsamic vinegar and water with baking soda will not actually TASTE like root beer, even though it may look like it), shoulder to cry on (you won't believe this--he broke up with me via email!  i don't care if we never talked to each other, he could have at least told Mary to tell me in person!), judge and jury (the evidence ((empty bag of chocolate chips)) suggests that you DID consume the contents of said bag and your sentence will be no computer time for one day ((ie. total cut off from any semblance of social life)) ), chauffeur (playdates, the mall, practices for various sports and musical instruments), chief provisioner (do the laundry, cook the meals, buy snacks, buy snacks, buy more snacks), and punching bag (it's YOUR fault that i have a zit and therefore no chance of ever breaking into any clique ever ever ever ever.  And WHY did you make it rain today too?  You RUINED my ENTIRE day!).

Your child DOESN'T want to hear about your marital discord, your problems with YOUR friends, that you want to get your belly button pierced with her, that you set rules and then break them when he/she cries, that you don't want her/him to be mad at you or angry with you or hate your guts, that you WILL let them go to Robert's house where there will probably be little, if any parental supervision and lots of beer, that it's OK to have your boyfriend/girlfriend over for a sleepover, that it's ok to break curfew, that it's fine to go out of the house looking like that, that you two can wear  the same clothes, and that you believe anything he/she tells you.

Real moms have a line and they toe it.  They set firm boundaries and stick by them no matter what.  They hate being the bad guy, but never let the kid know it.  Plenty of time for that once childhood and adolescence are through!

Thanks to Amy for responding to the tag!!! And for not having her own blog because if she did, she would be MAJOR competition for me...not that I am competitive or anything!!!

Di

Real Moms...

I have been "tagged" by Ali. I'm not really sure what that means, but who wants to say no to a woman who might just have a handful of vomit to throw at you...yuck...but you have to read her post to get that. I have never been tagged, so I'm feeling a little nervous...what if I do it wrong? Maybe I'll never get tagged again! Apparently there's a "Real Moms" meme.

Like Ali, I was torn between being funny, irreverent, downright inappropriate and sentimental. But the truth of the matter is that I have no idea what "real moms" do, because I always think I'm just faking it. Real moms are people like my mom who knew everything, had all the answers, were consistent with their discipline, etc. My mom and her generation had their mom acts together. I don't think they worried too much about our self-esteem, but somehow we came out OK. They weren't intimately involved with our homework. They didn't necessarily breastfeed us. They might have had cocktails during pregnancy. They didn't go to childbirth classes and our fathers sure weren't in the delivery room with them!!!!

But amazingly, they seem to put up with our obsessive, over-involved, "quality" time focused generation because we have given them the greatest gift of all...grandchildren!!! So, I am going to be uncharacteristically philosophical and say:

Real Moms appreciate the Moms they came from and the Grandmothers they may be in the future...because some days thinking of our pasts and our futures is the only thing that keeps us sane today!

Apparently I am supposed to tag five on-line mom friends. I don't know if they want to play along. I hope they don't think of this as a chain letter! So let me add, Real Moms can just say no to tags!!!!

So I shall tag:
Tracy, who, if she does it, gets EXTRA points for responding while dealing with painful medical treatments.
Karen, who feels like I do that Real Moms use good grammar and insist that their children and any visiting children do so as well!
Aussie Karen, because Real Moms want to know what Real Mums do down under....well, I mean, in Australia.
Laura, who will definitely not do it, but I'll try.
And Amy, who doesn't have a blog, but will definitely respond and I'll post it on mine!

Di

Miscellaneous Chatter

Brain dump...no, it won't be long! There's not that much in there! Tomorrow the only thing on my schedule is a 9:40 gynecologist appointment....and I'm going to keep it that way and do stuff that takes time and take time off to just watch TV or read and not get the life sucked out of me by the everyday minutiae of my crazed life. So before I embark on this uncharacteristically unscheduled day, let me share:

1. I am very proud of my daughter Haley today. I know she probably thinks that my overriding feelings about her revolve around the condition of her room, her sleeping habits and whether or not the dishwasher has been emptied. But today, she and her friend did the right thing. They showed strength and courage in the face of a very difficult decision. They didn't just take the high road...they took the windy, twisty, rocky, scary road...and made a difference in the process. So, to my daughter Haley I publicly announce my respect and admiration!

2. I am kind of proud of myself. A few weeks ago, I got a little short-tempered with the office manager at my doctor's office. It was an insurance thing and I was frustrated with the stupid insurance company (whose process for deciding how much to reimburse seems to involve dice-rolling, pick-a-card-any-card or one-potato-two-potato...sorry, two potato would be WAY too much to reimburse). A couple weeks had gone by, so I probably could have gotten away with just walking in, smiling and pretending it never happened. But I apologized...and she really seemed to appreciate my apology...so it was the right thing to do.

3. I finished The Nineteen Minutes and I don't think Jodi Picoult is going to be one of my new author best friends (NABF) when she reads my review. Can someone give me a cynicism adjustment by showing me one author who publishes a book every year or two and who is essentially a "brand" name whose quality does not decline with each subsequent book? OK...I came up with a few...I would posit that Stephen King, JK Rowling, Margaret Atwood and Joyce Carol Oates can be both prolific and brilliant (not every time, but consistently enough that I can't resist giving each new book a try). Disappointments include John Grisham, Michael Crichton, Anna Quindlen, Anita Shreve and Jodi Picoult. I might still be tempted to pick up a new book out of habit and the desire to stay in the mainstream and be able to intelligently discuss why I think their writing has declined. The jury is still out on John Irving and Pat Conroy. Both have books that are probably in my top 20 all time favorites...both have disappointed me...but both probably have more brilliance to share.

4. I just read the above and thought, "Who the hell is she to, in one paragraph, judge a dozen writers, each of whom has published several more books than the ZERO she has published?" Sorry...blogging can give one a slightly skewed vision of ones importance in the world. I blog, therefore I can judge!

5. My sister had the day off today and we did some browsing, some lunching, some pedicuring, some chatting, some more eating, some wine drinking and just general sistering. We were together for about 8 hours and never ran out of anything to talk about. And if we had the time, we could probably hang out for 8 hours tomorrow and still have more to say! Thanks Mom and Dad for giving my sister a sister (I was born second, so I can't very well thank them for her since she was there already when I came along!)

6. If you ever find yourself taking life too seriously, spend a day with a toddler. Olivia and I had such a lovely day on Tuesday (while her mother was receiving IV fluids and drugs to revive her after 12 hours of non-stop vomiting...sorry you had to go through all that Laura to provide me with a lovely day...but thanks...that's what friends are for!) I was "taking care" of O-lovely, but it was clear from the moment her parents walked (well, Laura was kind of crawling) out the door exactly who was in charge. She had me in thrall to her every utterance, giggling at her funny faces and wishing I could better remember those days with my own kids. But that's why other people have kids and we maybe eventually have grandkids...to remind us...but save us from actually having to empty the diaper pail, go through the "why?" stage and administer several doses a day of amoxicillin to the only baby on earth who thinks that pink bubblegum stuff tastes disgusting (yes, I'm talking about the one referenced way back in item #1).

OK...next on the agenda...somewhere between legs in the stirrups, head on the pillow napping and putting a few more puzzle pieces in place on the dolphin jigsaw...my review of The Nineteen Minutes. Stay tuned.

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 22)

There has been much ado about "Are you smarter than a 5th Grader?" so now those 5th Graders' moms are fighting back with:

13 Questions to Determine if you are Smarter than a 5th Grader's Mom

***Guest collaborator alert - a portion of this week's Thursday Thirteen was contributed by the illustrious (although occasionally book recommendation challenged) Amy***

1. How much Motrin can you give a child in the morning so he/she can go to school fever-free until school gets out and thus give mom time to go grocery shopping and get to the gym?

2. How much is too much to spend on a Bar/Bat Mitzvah? a) $50,000; b) $100,000; c) whatever TomKat spent on their wedding or d) more than $5,000 more than the next most outrageous one that you've attended in the last year?

3. It's 9 p.m. Wednesday night and your child has just informed you that you are supposed to bring in snacks for his/her entire class on Thursday. Is it faster to go to the store and buy mini-muffins or make brownies from a mix?

4. Which store is it that those "other" people go to? a) Wal-mart; b) Beall's; c) Target (oh wait, it IS socially acceptable for me to go there as long as I act like it's something I do for a hoot and pronounce it "Tar-jay")

5. You have 5 baskets worth of laundry to fold.  What dvr-d shows are best to watch while folding?

6. What is the best procedure for cleaning up projectile vomiting?

7. Who is the best plastic surgeon and/or divorce attorney (not necessarily in that order) in town?

8. Triage question:  dog is getting sick on the bed, child is moaning on the couch, husband is in the bathroom with intestinal difficulties and has run out of toilet paper.  Who should you attend to first?

9. Why should I go back to work when I can be employed full time overmanaging my children's education and social activities?

10. How can one mom do the following things at once:  bring child to baseball practice, make balanced dinner for 3, pick up dry cleaning and go grocery shopping for aforementioned dinner?

11. Why is Bree one of the most popular Housewives with the moms-who-watch-it crowd?

12. Correctly respond to the following phrases:  "It's not fair", "why can't i?", "you never let me," "you always let him," "it's not my fault".

13. Should I get my child a BMW or a Hummer when he/she turns 16?

Tricky, huh? I think the bigger answer is: NOBODY IS SMARTER THAN MOM!!!!

Di & Amy

Back from the Beach

Wow...five days without blogging. That may be a record for me. Not only that, but from Saturday evening until I got home at noon on Monday, I was not on the internet, and didn't even have any withdrawal symptoms! And when I got home on Monday, I didn't immediately get on line. So I guess this is my way of saying that I'm NOT addicted. I CAN quit anytime I want. But I hope someone out there missed me!!!

So, today you get to be the recipient of my "junk in the trunk"...stuff that has been accumulating in my brain since we left Boca for Merritt Island Friday afternoon. (If anyone from either of my children's schools is reading this, of course this was AFTER their doctor's appointments for which I needed to remove them from school early!)

1. Less than two weeks until Buy A Friend A Book Week. I must think of a new unique contest. In the two contests I have done so far I have asked entrants to 1) give me the title of the best book they have read in 2006 (I got such a great turnout for this one that I had both adult and junior divisions); 2) list the top three books they have read. If you have any suggestions for a theme, e-mail them to me privately and guess what? I'll buy a book for the first person to come up with the theme I eventually use!

2. Andrea finally made a decision on her book won in my last BAFAB contest. For those who worry that there is any unfairness to this contest, I will remind you that her favorite book of 2006 was The Stolen Child by Keith Donohue, which I kind of disliked and I think Andrea may have selected just to be contrary. Since Andrea is a local winner, we had a Sunday morning rendez vous at Barnes & Noble where my 13 year old entertained her 4 year old so that we could have coffee and delightful adult conversation. Before Andrea's arrival, I walked around collecting a large pile of books from which I thought she might like to make her selection. We used the pile to save our table, went and ordered our coffees and came back to find that an overzealous bookseller had picked them up and reshelved them! Ugh!!!!

Anyway, after reading unanimously positive critical reviews (or after weighing all of them and going with the heaviest), Andrea selected Heydey by Kurt Andersen, and after her last report, is loving it!

Taylor, who won the junior division selected That Was Then, This is Now by S. E. Hinton, but when it came from Amazon and I foolishly left it on the counter, my son Rory started reading it leaving pages dog-eared and the spine broken, so I couldn't give it to Taylor. Besides, it is such a tiny little book, I want to get her that and something more. Any suggestions? Taylor is in 5th grade and about to enter middle school.

3. I am reading Jodi Picoult's latest, Nineteen Minutes, and all the while blogging in my head. I am about 2/3 through it, so we will see what the final outcome is, but right now it is running a distant second to Lionel Shriver's We Need to Talk About Kevin.

4. Speaking of Ms. Shriver, her latest book The Post-Birthday World has received some positive buzz. For those fortunate to live in the vicinity of Quail Ridge Books, the greatest independent bookstore ever, Ms. Shriver is going to be appearing at QRB in Raleigh on April 10. For those who are not fortunate enough to be with a couple of hours of Raleigh so you can take the occasional field trip, I would strongly encourage you to subscribe to QuailMail, the consistently informative newsletter sent weekly by QRB's incomparable owner, Nancy Olson (shown here with John and Elizabeth Edwards). In addition to the great book selection, wonderfully comfortable children's section, articulate staff reviews and unrivaled service, one of my favorite things about QRB is the eclectic collection of blank note cards. I just got a very cool Frida Kahlo card from my friend Shirley from my book club in NC who got it at QRB. Shirley, I think we should plan a field trip and lunch around visiting QRB when I'm up there in the beginning of April.

5. We just had a great weekend with friends Steve, Nicole and McLane who stopped in Merritt Island before heading on to a week at Disney. I love having friends who do not need "entertaining", but enjoy the simple things...a windy day at the beach, a fabulous dinner at Danny & Sonia's, kicking a soccer ball around, playing cards, working maniacally on a jigsaw puzzle and even taking the occasional spontaneous nap while watching March Madness. McLane (age 8) summed it up for me when she plopped herself down in the backseat of my car and announced, "I'm having fun! Are you having fun?"

6. Today it's back to the "real world"...I was hesitant to even open up my calendar and check my schedule for today because I didn't want to lose the overwhelming sense of relaxation I had from the weekend.

Di

Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 21)

Thirteen Great Country Drinking Songs

Co-author alert!!!! Yes, my husband Hurley (pictured here with my pregnant self back in 1993) helped to come up with these songs...he's going to KILL me when he sees that I posted this picture. Actually, he'll probably be mad that if I chose a picture from 1993, I chose one where he is wearing a hat instead of one where he is sporting a much fuller head of hair!!!

I'm thinking that everyone this week is going to do a TT about St. Patrick's Day. And what, you may ask, do great country drinking songs have to do with St. Patrick's Day. Well, if you are familiar with Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, you may recall that Berendt relates that in the South there are two high holy days...St. Patrick's Day and the Florida/Georgia Game (of course, he refers to it as the Georgia/Florida game, but my Gator husband wouldn't like that). So you can now see the connection between country music (typically associated with the South) and St. Patrick's Day! (For those who aren't familiar with country music, I'm going to put a snippet of lyrics so you can get the general idea of the song.)

1. I've Got Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks

I didn't mean to cause a big scene; Just wait 'til I finish this glass; Then sweet little lady; I'll head back to the bar; And you can kiss my ass!

2. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems - Kenny Chesney

The sun and the sand and a drink in my hand with no bottom
And no shirt, no shirt, and no problems!

3. I Love This Bar - Toby Keith

I like my truck; I like my girlfriend; I like to take her out to dinner; I like a movie now and then...but I LOVE this bar!

***OK, now we have covered all the country singers after whom we have named our dogs...Garth, Chesney and Toby***

4. You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin' - Toby Keith (there is a trend here)

I used to come home late and not a minute too soon; Barking like a dog, howling at the moon; You'd be mad as an ol' red hen, up all night wonderin where I been; I'd fall down and say come help me honey; You laughed outloud, I guess you thought it was funny; I sobered up, and I got to thinkin'; Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'!

5. The Drinking Bone -  Tracy Byrd

The drinkin' bone is connected to the party bone; The party bone's connected to the stayin' out all night long; And she won't think it's funny
And I'll wind up all alone; And the lonely bone's connected to the drinkin' bone.

6. It's 5 o'clock Somewhere - Alan Jackson (with Jimmy Buffett)

Pour me somethin' tall and strong; Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It's only half past twelve, but I don't care; It's five o'clock somewhere.

7. I Don't Even Know Your Name - Alan Jackson

So I ordered straight tequila, a little courage in a shot; I asked you for a date and then I asked to tie the knot; I got a little wasted, yeah I went a little far; But I finally got to hug you when you helped me to my car
The last thing I remember I heard myself say; I'm in love with you baby, I don't even know your name.

8. Beer for my Horses - Toby Keith with Willie Nelson (yes, Toby loves him some drinking songs!)

We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces;
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.

9. I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home - David Frizzell

She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam.
"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."

10. All the Girls get Prettier at Closing Time - Mickey Gilley

If I could rate'em on a scale from 1 to 10; I'm lookin' for a 9 but 8 would slip right in; A few more drinks and I might slip to a 5 or even a 4; But when tomorrow morning comes, And I wake up with a number 1; I swear I'll never do it anymore.

11. I'm Here for the Party - Gretchen Wilson (finally, a chick!)

Well I'm an eight ball shooting double fisted drinking son of a gun; I wear My jeans a little tight; Just to watch the little boys come undone; I'm here for the beer and the ball busting band; Gonna get a little crazy just because I can; You know I'm here for the party!

12. The Whiskey Ain't Workin' Anymore - Travis Tritt

There was a time I could drink my cares away; And drown out all of the heartaches that hurt me night and day; When the thought of you came crashin' through I'd have one more; But now the whiskey ain't workin' anymore.

We actually figured we could have done this whole Thursday Thirteen just with tequila songs...but maybe we'll save that for Cinco de Mayo...so our favorite tequila song...

13. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off - Joe Nichols

Them pantyhose ain't gonna last too long, if the DJ puts Bon Jovi on. She might come home in a tablecloth. Tequila makes her clothes fall off.

So this weekend as you are tipping back a beer, a whiskey or tequila (watch those clothes...I hear they fall off), just think WWJBD (what would Jimmy Buffett do?)...keep it between the navigational beacons!

Di & H

 

 

 

Triangle - Part II

Having read Triangle by Katharine Weber and Triangle: The Fire that Changed America by David von Drehle, my thoughts turned to the influence of immigrants on our country and how tragic the Triangle fire truly was.

I remember learning about the Triangle Shirtwaist fire in grade school, probably in 5th grade when I vividly recall learning about immigrants and the trials they faced once they made it from Ellis Island to the streets of New York. I proudly presented a report on Arturo Toscanini when assigned to research a famous immigrant who came from a place my own immigrant ancestors came from, Italy. As I look back now, I realize that Toscanini, who came to the U.S. after establishing himself as a world class conductor, probably had a very different immigration story than the young women who perished in the Triangle Shirtwaist fire or for that matter, my own ancestors who immigrated from Italy:

My grandmother's, Elizabeth (bottom right), family came through Ellis Island and established their home in the U.S. Weber notes in Triangle that many of the young people who were sent ahead wished to make enough money to eventually go back to their home countries, establish a better quality of life and raise families there. But few actually did that. My grandmother's family actually followed that path with my grandmother being born here and the family eventually returning to Italy...and coming back to the U.S. when the political climate in Italy looked dire and the life in the U.S. looked more attractive by comparison.

More than 80 years and four generations later, the descendents of my family above include executives, attorneys, politicians and even a famous artist whose works include iconic cartoons and brilliant tattoos. College graduation is now the norm just a few generations since an 8th grade education was considered more than sufficient.

To my knowledge, there are no slackers, thieves or murderers among the descendents of immigrants in my family and in my generation alone I would estimate there are about 60 of us descended from my pictured ancestors and the one child born after the picture was taken. It is with this rambling digression that I try to fathom the impact of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire. If the descendents of those early-20th century immigrants ascended to positions of responsibility and leadership, carrying on the work ethic that gave their families the wherewithal that got them here in the first place, how much lost potential does that fire represent? If most of the people who perished in the fire would have gone on to start their own families, four generations later (conservatively speaking since many of the girls who perished in the fire were Italian Catholics who were inclined to have large families )they might each have 15-20 descendents in my generation...over 2,000 potential contributors to society with strong work ethics, honest values and an understanding of the value of living in our democracy and our capitalistic economy.

As tragic as the fire was, it did bring attention to the deplorable working conditions that prevailed in many of the sweatshops that exploited immigrant labor and gave rise to a series of employment laws that ensured safer working conditions and provided employees with protection from unfair employment practices. It's sad but true that almost 100 years later, it very often takes a tragedy to get the attention of lawmakers and the public to inspire change.

Di