This Sunday is a fun day for my friends Vicky and Donnie who are getting married in April...a couples brunch to celebrate their impending nuptials.
But, unfortunately it's not a happy day for my friend Stacy, whose daughter Casey has been admitted to the hospital for the third time in less than four weeks. A wee lass of just 80 pounds and 11 years, she has endured more pain and medical issues than anyone should experience in a lifetime including Ulcerative colitis eventually and hopefully controlled by the third tier in a regimen of medical treatments, and just for fun, a kidney stone thrown in there to test her pain tolerance, which she responded to like you and I might respond to a mild headache. After passing the stone, the size of a piece of pearl pasta (an analogy I was able to make after watching Stacy eat a delicious cup of Italian Wedding soup at the inimitable Carole's Kitchen in Boca), she was eventually released to enjoy an amazing first day home with family and friends. Two days later, she is back in the hospital with yet another kidney stone and ready for another round of Remicade (which we have charmingly nicknamed "Rum & Coke").
Stacy has been stronger than I can ever imagine being. She has spent most nights at the hospital, catered to the dietary needs, desires and whims of an 11-year old who wants nothing more than to be back at school, endured the frustration and uncertainty of each medical test and treatment and amazingly, managed to find the time to reassure her 8-year old twins who get off the bus every day never sure who is going to be picking them up.
My children have surprised me at every turn, proving that they HAVE been paying attention and learning about how to be a good friend. My 13-year old daughter (who, under normal circumstances would probably have no use for her brother's 11-year old friend) checks in frequently for updates, sends text messages to Casey and carefully picks out books that she thinks Casey will like. My 11-year old son has woken up many mornings with the first words out of his mouth, before he even opens his eyes, being, "Can I see Casey today?"
So it's kind of a conundrum this week...and I think that it's going to be a two-snail-mail Sunday here. Casey has been delighted with all of the e-mails she has received from my blog readers (send to BasketCase1095@mac.com) and Stacy enjoys the occasional passion fruit iced tea from Starbucks that I deliver when visiting hours start. But I don't know for sure that either one knows how heroic she is being.
Casey has inspired me, at one quarter my age, by handling pain, suffering and uncertainty with maturity and courage. Stacy, my dear friend, ("sister of my heart" as Andrea has dubbed her) has placed motherhood and responsibility above her own needs and emotions.
So, while I would rather take a day of Casey's pain or a fraction of Stacy's mother-guilt (which is enormous by virtue of being a "Jewish mother" and increased exponentially by being torn between the needs of a sick child, a loving and hard-working husband and the twins who need her)...I have to settle for the special moment I can give with a hand-written note on some lovely stationary to let them know how special they are.
On this Snail Mail Sunday...I hope that you will look around and see who you know who is displaying courage, fortitude and aplomb and let that person know that you recognize it, appreciate it and respect it. Surprisingly, most people who have those qualities in spades don't need to hear it from anyone to soldier on and do what needs to be done...but a kind word and an appreciative thought can never hurt anyone.
Di
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