Meeting Kitty

Today was the big day...the day I have been looking forward to. I met Kitty Dukakis (whose book I reviewed on this blog recently) at a lovely party at a beautiful home on the Intracoastal in Delray. It was part a meeting of Career Women in Transition, an organization on whose board Kitty serves. It was an amazing group of women who have held high level positions in their career and are now transitioning to the "rest of their lives".

When I walked in and Kitty saw my nametag, she knew who I was immediately and welcomed me warmly. I introduced my sister Linda. I gave her the little gift I brought which was a copy of Tracy Thompson's The Ghost in the House: Motherhood, Raising Children and Struggling with Depression which was generously sent and signed by the author along with a personal note reiterating how honored I felt to be invited and how much her book impacted my life.

Linda and I caught up with my therapist, Dr. Brand, and mingled. We met some very interesting people, including a former CEO of a major retail chain. The positions these women have held during their careers were very impressive, but also made me think about the fact that these women are probably the first generation to have a critical mass transitioning from career to retirement or other endeavors. They are dealing with questions of how to define oneself when one has always been defined by a career or vocation.

After a while, everyone gathered on the lovely terrace overlooking the Intracoastal (on a perfect Florida winter day) and Kitty spoke about her book, her struggle with depression and the effect that ECT has had on her life. She pulled no punches, answering each question without so much as a moment's hesitation. As she spoke, I felt that when mentioning certain things she looked directly at me, knowing that I shared her experience. After the questions were done, she came directly over to me and signed my books (one for Tracy will be on its way), my sister's and Dr. Brand's. I got to thank her personally for writing her book.

At the age of 70, Kitty Dukakis is a woman who feels confident about her life choices and compelled to share them for the good of others. When she speaks of her husband, it is with warmth and caring. They clearly have a close relationship and his support has been instrumental in her treatment. As I listened to her speak and questions were raised about the lack of availability of ECT to the indigent and institutionalized, I couldn't help but wonder if the world might be different today if Michael Dukakis had been elected in 1988 instead of President George Bush. Perhaps his Democratic and liberal agenda as supported by his capable and politically savvy wife could have moved our country in a direction where health care is provided on the basis of need instead of money for access. On a personal level, however, I wonder how Kitty would have handled the demands of life as a First Lady. From what I read in her book and what I saw today, I think she would have fared just fine...and would have redefined the role while continually evolving herself.

I know that everyone has been on pins and needles with the whole ballet flats thing (Kitty was wearing black pumps with a medium heel) worrying about what I was wearing, so here is a photo taken by my son after I returned home:

So, here is the final ensemble. My son told me I looked old. My husband said "mature". But I think that just means that I was wearing something other than the jeans and tops I normally wear. It's been a while since they saw Mom in a skirt that wasn't a golf skirt.

I had a camera with me, but there wasn't a time that I felt it was appropriate to take a picture of Kitty. The gathering was intimate and didn't lend itself to photo ops.

I am grateful that my blog has led to this opportunity for me. And for anyone who is interested in the topic, I strongly recommend Kitty's book, Shock: The Healing Power of Electroconvulsive Therapy.

Di

Comments

[Gattina]

I can tell you it is more than hard to stop working and suddenly find yourself retired ! It took me about 6 years to get used to it. I had a very interesting and responsible job, I have been Sales Assistant for whole Europe for a big fibre company. I couldn't get used to the fact sitting at home suddenly and having no more responsibilities but this damned household ! After a lot of up and downs I finally found my way and now I am quite happy with my life.
You look very nice with your skirt ! I don't wear skirts any more I don't even have one now. I had enough. Now its trousers or costumes but with trousers, I don't feel well in trousers any more.

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

Gorgeous skirt, and the red suits you.

Glad the event went well. What a cool thing to experience.

(btw, I had a similar transition when my son was born. I went from being active and doing all sorts of stuff to ... sitting around the house, playing with a baby. It was boring. I was miserable. And I HATED going to the grocery and having all those people think I was nothing more than a housewife. I wanted to go up to them and say, "But I'm so much MORE." I'd imagine that's how these women feel as they face retirement.)

[ali]

i think you look great! not old at all!

[Shirley]

You looked GREAT!!! Glad it went well