Kitchen Table Wisdom

The majority of my reading is fiction. If I read non-fiction, it's usually a memoir or historical piece that reads like fiction. I DEFINITELY steer clear of anything that could be labeled self-help (who needs help when you are perfect like me), spiritual or earthy crunchy. But I made a very good exception with Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD. First let me tell you why it occurred to me to post on this now since I finished it several months ago.

Yesterday I was visiting Mo whose misfortune (her house burning down) became my fortune (she rented our house AND we have become friends...despite the fact that the house turned out to have bats, one of which dive-bombed her 16-year old daughter's head). Now, just to give you a glimpse of Mo, she is a breast cancer survivor and if they ever change the phrase to "Breast Cancer Thriver", she will be the poster woman (although she might have to share poster space with my friend Virginia who beat breast cancer to a pulp and got beautiful curly hair as a bonus!) Mo mentioned to me that she had recently gone on a physical spiritual retreat and we were talking about what kinds of books we read. So given her history as well as her interest in the interplay of the physical and spiritual, I recommended Kitchen Table Wisdom...and I hope she reads it.

Dr. Remen started her career as a physician with a knack for empathy and dealing with the patients other doctors didn't know what to do with because they were crying or raging over their terminal diagnosis. They don't teach empathy in medical school and many doctors are great diagnosticians and treaters of illness, they are left stymied by the emotions of their patients. She has morphed into a doctor who counsels people who are struggling with serious illnesses. Suffering from Crohn's disease, Dr. Remen has a personal as well as professional stake in what she does. The stories she shares in her book share a common thread of an emphasis on the strength of the human mind and the human will in the face of disease and adversity.

It's a great book to carry in your purse or your car to read in bits and pieces while at a stoplight (no, I would never read at a stoplight, I am much too busy talking on my cell phone and applying make-up!) or in the waiting room at the orthodontist (where he seemingly earns his keep putting colorful bands on my child's braces every couple of months...and mysteriously plunges an inordinate amount of his profits into aquariums {aquaria?} that cost more than my house...furnishings and all). Did I digress again?

Kitchen Table Wisdome was recommended to me by psychologist, Dr. Ana Brand (a graduate of University of Florida - GO GATORS), who knows I love "homework". I devoured it in a couple days leaving my tattered copy riddled with hot pink highlighting...mostly of pithy, insightful passages that I think should be needlepointed on a pillow or something. Some examples:

"...the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention."

"Wholeness lies beyond perfection."

"In our instinctive attachments, our fear of change, and our wish for certainty and permanence, we may undercut the impermanence which is our greatest strength...Without impermanence, there is no process. The nature of life is change. All hope is based on process."

"...all love is unconditional. Anything else is just approval."

As a loquaicious, perfectionist, control-freak with an inexplicable need for approval, these quotations speak to me and the stories that contain them make them resonate within me. If you have ever had a serious illness, loved someone with a serious illness or considered the impact of serious illness on one's life, this book will give you perspective, strength and inspiration.

Di

Comments

[Laura]

Loquacious perfectionist control freak? WTF? First you try to steal Bad Mother of the Year away from me and now this? To the mattresses, sister, to the mattresses.

[Di]

Did I mention competitive?